My friend, please don't give up. Look, I was married to a wonderful woman who unfortunately was suffering from depression and an addict. She would be addicted to alcohol, food and anything she could get her hands on. I was raised by alcoholics and I didn't see the warning signs as she fell in deeper and deeper. She married me because I could get her booze. Plain and simple. She never actually loved me really... that still hurts. We have four children together and 15 years when she accused me of abuse and called the police on me. In my marriage, I cannot tell you one time when she did anything nice for me. True. I can tell you that I gave up my life for her, I raised the children, worked full time and tried to save her from the alcoholism. I would force her to socialize with the neighbors to have a life outside of the house! I felt she needed to unwind. The depression was obvious, the addiction too. She emotionally abandoned me so many years ago that little by little I died inside and I forgot who I was but I was still my children's father! I loved them and her, I took them out for playtime, fed them, cleaned them and helped make sure she would come home from her part time job to a clean house. R&R for my girl is what I aimed for but instead she had an affair, several of them and blamed me for being abusive. Was I abusive? Yes. How? After all those years of giving and giving and getting nothing in return I was exhausted and I gave up. I became depressed and bitter. I yelled at her for spending all of our money on booze and not the bills... nightly. Shame on me. She would get drunk on the weekends and fight me saying just hit me once is all I need. She hated me and still does. I foolishly tried to keep our marriage alive and in doing so I hurt my wife's feelings daily. I am to blame for my % of the breakup. Now, I love my wife and I always will but I can never look at her again after she admitted to extra marital affairs, lying to me for years and hating me. Life goes on. I focus on my children and pray for my wife who has a PD. I am still recovering from the abuse I took and the guilt of causing so much pain to the one woman I love.
What I am saying is get out of that relationship now. It cannot get better without change. I leave my wife alone now and she still cheats and lies but someday she will wake up and see I am not to blame anymore and on that day maybe she will change. The children call her, "new mommy" and they don't like her. They want to live with me but we have to wait. My wife's personality changed seemingly overnight and my oldest son said it best when he said, she acts and looks like other people when she has too. It's like she just changes to meet the situation. Don't do that. Get out now. Save yourself. Don't feel guilty. Just run like hell. Don't look back. Let the dead bury the dead. Run my Friend! RUN!
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My friend, please don't give up. Look, I was married to a wonderful woman who unfortunately was suffering from depression and an addict. She would be addicted to alcohol, food and anything she could get her hands on. I was raised by alcoholics and I didn't see the warning signs as she fell in deeper and deeper. She married me because I could get her booze. Plain and simple. She never actually loved me really... that still hurts. We have four children together and 15 years when she accused me of abuse and called the police on me. In my marriage, I cannot tell you one time when she did anything nice for me. True. I can tell you that I gave up my life for her, I raised the children, worked full time and tried to save her from the alcoholism. I would force her to socialize with the neighbors to have a life outside of the house! I felt she needed to unwind. The depression was obvious, the addiction too. She emotionally abandoned me so many years ago that little by little I died inside and I forgot who I was but I was still my children's father! I loved them and her, I took them out for playtime, fed them, cleaned them and helped make sure she would come home from her part time job to a clean house. R&R for my girl is what I aimed for but instead she had an affair, several of them and blamed me for being abusive. Was I abusive? Yes. How? After all those years of giving and giving and getting nothing in return I was exhausted and I gave up. I became depressed and bitter. I yelled at her for spending all of our money on booze and not the bills... nightly. Shame on me. She would get drunk on the weekends and fight me saying just hit me once is all I need. She hated me and still does. I foolishly tried to keep our marriage alive and in doing so I hurt my wife's feelings daily. I am to blame for my % of the breakup. Now, I love my wife and I always will but I can never look at her again after she admitted to extra marital affairs, lying to me for years and hating me. Life goes on. I focus on my children and pray for my wife who has a PD. I am still recovering from the abuse I took and the guilt of causing so much pain to the one woman I love.
December 13, 2014 - 11:06amWhat I am saying is get out of that relationship now. It cannot get better without change. I leave my wife alone now and she still cheats and lies but someday she will wake up and see I am not to blame anymore and on that day maybe she will change. The children call her, "new mommy" and they don't like her. They want to live with me but we have to wait. My wife's personality changed seemingly overnight and my oldest son said it best when he said, she acts and looks like other people when she has too. It's like she just changes to meet the situation. Don't do that. Get out now. Save yourself. Don't feel guilty. Just run like hell. Don't look back. Let the dead bury the dead. Run my Friend! RUN!
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