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I've been married for 20 years, and during the last ten my I believe my husband has been slowly using emotional abuse to strip me of my self-confidence, my security, my happiness, my social life, and basically all of the spark of the woman I used to be. I have been doing a lot of reading on the subject, and the signs and feelings I am experiencing are identical to those who are emotionally abused - I am edgy and stressed when I am around him, constantly feeling like I'm being judged, I feel utterly isolated from any family and friends because of the disapproval I will get if I attempt to go somewhere without him. I feel as though in his eyes nothing I do is right. He will absolutely never admit he is wrong about anything, and I can't remember the last time I heard him apologize - everything is my fault. We go long periods of time without speaking. I've become depressed and lonely and I stay in bed a lot. I feel completely isolated and alone.
In addition, I've become far less employable than I was when we first married and I had a career. After I stopped working to concentrate on becoming pregnant (we had issues conceiving and ultimately never became pregnant) I did not return to the workforce, and to do so now would be difficult for several reasons, so I am dependent on him for all financial support.
I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I've lost the vivacious person I used to be. I don't remember what it feels like to live normally...
My question concerns filing for divorce. As I mentioned, I have no source of income outside of him. He makes an excellent living (close to $400,000/yr.), largely because we relocated to CT to follow his career pursuits, while I left mine back in NJ. Will any of this have any bearing on the spousal support I might be awarded in a divorce settlement? I don't expect to live the same way we live now, but I believe that after all of these years and the sacrifices I've made, that I deserve to live decently. Does anyone have any similar experience, or any knowledge that might be helpful? Many thanks...

January 31, 2016 - 2:33pm

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