Dear older moms to be - no one wants to think about increased risk (greatly increased risk) of genetic problems after 35, but it's there, it's real, and I barely lived through it. At 43 I became pregnant (happy with my 9 and 13 year olds and not trying for another). After the initial shock, I was excited, I love my children and already loved my latest baby. Finding out my beloved new life was already dying from Trisomy 18 was devastating to say the least. After the ordeal was over at 19 weeks (and after my milk came in totally, all I wanted to do was nurse my baby, just like I had my other 2), one of the things that helped me pull through was the fact that I was already blessed with children - I don't know how people face such a loss as their only child. Is this letter scary? Yes. Can older women have healthy babies? Yes. can younger mothers have my situation? Yes. Just go into this with eyes WIDE open - and pretending it won't happen to you is foolish for an older mom. That situation reminded me that not all women get pregnant, give birth at 9 months, and everyone lives happily ever after. So, over forty crowd, the very best of luck to you, babies have fulfilled my life, but PLEASE do genetic testing so you are prepared. Genetic testing doesn't mean abortion, it simply means being ready.
As a last note, after my ordeal which my best friend witnessed and supported me, she remarried. She had 2 children from a previous marriage that were both in their teens. Having witnessed what I went through, she did much soul-searching and research. She gave birth to her third child at age 41 in spite of the risks of being an older mother. Her baby is beautiful and happy and so are they, and so am I (although I think I was more of a wreck secretly than anyone while she was pregnant!). So the moral of this story? Get informed and be prepared, and rejoice when it all works out!
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Dear older moms to be - no one wants to think about increased risk (greatly increased risk) of genetic problems after 35, but it's there, it's real, and I barely lived through it. At 43 I became pregnant (happy with my 9 and 13 year olds and not trying for another). After the initial shock, I was excited, I love my children and already loved my latest baby. Finding out my beloved new life was already dying from Trisomy 18 was devastating to say the least. After the ordeal was over at 19 weeks (and after my milk came in totally, all I wanted to do was nurse my baby, just like I had my other 2), one of the things that helped me pull through was the fact that I was already blessed with children - I don't know how people face such a loss as their only child. Is this letter scary? Yes. Can older women have healthy babies? Yes. can younger mothers have my situation? Yes. Just go into this with eyes WIDE open - and pretending it won't happen to you is foolish for an older mom. That situation reminded me that not all women get pregnant, give birth at 9 months, and everyone lives happily ever after. So, over forty crowd, the very best of luck to you, babies have fulfilled my life, but PLEASE do genetic testing so you are prepared. Genetic testing doesn't mean abortion, it simply means being ready.
July 24, 2011 - 5:59amAs a last note, after my ordeal which my best friend witnessed and supported me, she remarried. She had 2 children from a previous marriage that were both in their teens. Having witnessed what I went through, she did much soul-searching and research. She gave birth to her third child at age 41 in spite of the risks of being an older mother. Her baby is beautiful and happy and so are they, and so am I (although I think I was more of a wreck secretly than anyone while she was pregnant!). So the moral of this story? Get informed and be prepared, and rejoice when it all works out!
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