Snoo,
It is important to first take care of yourself. EVERY good caretaker is only as helpful to the other person (in this case, your boyfriend) as they are themselves healthy and strong. Does that makes sense?
If YOU are not doing good, talk to your trusted teacher. She may think MORE of you that you are courageous enough to come to her and tell her you need help. Talk with your doctor. Talk with your school counselor about how to make an appointment with a psychologist (your parents would need to know, as it would be on their health insurance). Advocate for yourself, first.
Secondly, I strongly believe that you can be a good friend to your bf, but labeling yourselves as bf and gf right now is stressful. Your bf can not be a boyfriend to anyone, if he is not OK with his life and wanting it to end. He can not have a healthy relationship with anyone, and provide to them, if he is not first OK with himself. He needs to focus on himself. If he is not improving, he needs to speak with his health care providers (I assume he has many doctors and psychologist working with him). Do not take on his struggles (you are, through your words in your post). Take the "we" out of his struggles. If HE is struggling, you need to be your own strong, independent person to help encourage him to seek counseling, to talk with his doctor about changing dosage of his medication. This is how you can be his best support right now. If you are taking on his emotional baggage, he will feel like he is bringing you down with him...and he needs someone to be strong, supportive and emotionally stable right now to bring HIM up.
Again, if you can not be that emotionally supportive and strong person right now, that is OK. You just need enough courage and strength to ask for help from an adult. You and your bf can get better individually, and then help each other in supportive ways (encouraging, reading, learning) instead of bringing each other down.
Does this all make sense?
Please talk with your trusted teacher Monday, and keep us updated.
Comment Reply
Snoo,
It is important to first take care of yourself. EVERY good caretaker is only as helpful to the other person (in this case, your boyfriend) as they are themselves healthy and strong. Does that makes sense?
If YOU are not doing good, talk to your trusted teacher. She may think MORE of you that you are courageous enough to come to her and tell her you need help. Talk with your doctor. Talk with your school counselor about how to make an appointment with a psychologist (your parents would need to know, as it would be on their health insurance). Advocate for yourself, first.
Secondly, I strongly believe that you can be a good friend to your bf, but labeling yourselves as bf and gf right now is stressful. Your bf can not be a boyfriend to anyone, if he is not OK with his life and wanting it to end. He can not have a healthy relationship with anyone, and provide to them, if he is not first OK with himself. He needs to focus on himself. If he is not improving, he needs to speak with his health care providers (I assume he has many doctors and psychologist working with him). Do not take on his struggles (you are, through your words in your post). Take the "we" out of his struggles. If HE is struggling, you need to be your own strong, independent person to help encourage him to seek counseling, to talk with his doctor about changing dosage of his medication. This is how you can be his best support right now. If you are taking on his emotional baggage, he will feel like he is bringing you down with him...and he needs someone to be strong, supportive and emotionally stable right now to bring HIM up.
Again, if you can not be that emotionally supportive and strong person right now, that is OK. You just need enough courage and strength to ask for help from an adult. You and your bf can get better individually, and then help each other in supportive ways (encouraging, reading, learning) instead of bringing each other down.
Does this all make sense?
Please talk with your trusted teacher Monday, and keep us updated.
August 14, 2011 - 2:10pmThis Comment
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