I went through the same thing with my husband of 30 yrs. Tell him that he is going to have to choose between you or porn. It is not going to be easy for him to quit. It is very hard to quit porn just like any other addiction. He may want to quit but just can't. Hitting him will not solve anything. I realize how hurt and angry you are; I've had all those feelings too. Tell him that he has to make a decision, either you or porn. Then he needs to show you that he is getting some serious help in order to quit the addiction. Then you can support him in his efforts to quit. If he won't get help, tell him you are leaving until he gets help, and mean it. Go stay with a friend or family member. Tell him you will return when he begins a recovery program so you will be there to support him. Tell him that if he makes no efforts to quit than you know that he loves porn better than you, & you will have no choice but to move on. If he really loves you, he will take this very seriously. My husband did quit porn after being addicted for many yrs because he knew that I was serious when I gave him the final ultimatum to choose between porn and me. He chose me, and is working hard every day to continue the road to recovery & be free of porn. Men often have slip ups on the road to recovery but that does not mean that they are going back to it. It often means they just have to change a few things & work harder. My husband hurt me so bad that I would no longer be with him if he didn't quit. I couldn't take the pain anymore. Even quitting doesn't completely take the pain away. You will never forget how bad he hurt you. But you won't live every single day in darkness & despair anymore. He has to love you enough to want to quit, and if he does, than he will succeed.
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I went through the same thing with my husband of 30 yrs. Tell him that he is going to have to choose between you or porn. It is not going to be easy for him to quit. It is very hard to quit porn just like any other addiction. He may want to quit but just can't. Hitting him will not solve anything. I realize how hurt and angry you are; I've had all those feelings too. Tell him that he has to make a decision, either you or porn. Then he needs to show you that he is getting some serious help in order to quit the addiction. Then you can support him in his efforts to quit. If he won't get help, tell him you are leaving until he gets help, and mean it. Go stay with a friend or family member. Tell him you will return when he begins a recovery program so you will be there to support him. Tell him that if he makes no efforts to quit than you know that he loves porn better than you, & you will have no choice but to move on. If he really loves you, he will take this very seriously. My husband did quit porn after being addicted for many yrs because he knew that I was serious when I gave him the final ultimatum to choose between porn and me. He chose me, and is working hard every day to continue the road to recovery & be free of porn. Men often have slip ups on the road to recovery but that does not mean that they are going back to it. It often means they just have to change a few things & work harder. My husband hurt me so bad that I would no longer be with him if he didn't quit. I couldn't take the pain anymore. Even quitting doesn't completely take the pain away. You will never forget how bad he hurt you. But you won't live every single day in darkness & despair anymore. He has to love you enough to want to quit, and if he does, than he will succeed.
May 23, 2015 - 2:32pmThis Comment
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