I am in the same situation. The only difference is that my bf has low libido and gets desire approximately once per week. In the beginning we did it every week once of course but I still saw that he had porn downloaded on his PC, which means that back then maybe due to the novelty of the relationship, he was wanting it twice per week in general - once with me and once with the stupid porn...it wasn't such a problem because I was still getting attention and sex....a year and a half later it was slowly getting less....once per two weeks and since we moved in together once or less per month....he openly says that he masturbates when I ask even though it has been a month since we had sex...he says that he still has desire for me but it is all well knwon for him and he is somehow bored...the thrill is gone ...porn gives him an option to look at something different and imagine something different...I can understand that but it is hurting me that he prefers to masturbate 3 out of4 times every month leaving me feeling undesired and no longer sexually good enough for him....i guess the main problem is the libido mismatch because if he was having high libido wanting it every day or every other day then it would have still been more frequent sex with me even if he masturbated to porn....
I have told him about my feelings but his reaction is that he cant do anything about it when he simply doesnt desire me at these moments ...he could go months wirhout sex and then months with everytime sex with me ...it has been like this in his previous relationship and "it is how he is" ....when the thrill is gone ...he isnt intrressted do to it often....
Other times he simply says that masturbating is alot easier and lazier than actually having sex even though I never put pressure on him for making me orgasm...I just enjoy the penetration and the intimacy...it is still quite presurable for me so I don't know what is so much more work in sex with me....
I am constantly on the edge of breaking up or staying...I know I have no strings attached but only one big - I really love him and he is really good to me in every other aspect...I just don't know if he actually wants me at all sexually and he doesn't give a straight answer...every time says different things .he is bored of me because he knows me and the sex with me...other times he says he simply gets it easier with porn but still has desire for me....once he even said something like he will push himself to have sex with me when we decide to have children...i don't know I feel helpless too....I clearly cannot be somebody new to him so the interest stays...I am willing to stay if he can preserve a regular normal sexual activity where I can feel desired by him ...you are quite lucky compared to a lot other people...
Comment Reply
I am in the same situation. The only difference is that my bf has low libido and gets desire approximately once per week. In the beginning we did it every week once of course but I still saw that he had porn downloaded on his PC, which means that back then maybe due to the novelty of the relationship, he was wanting it twice per week in general - once with me and once with the stupid porn...it wasn't such a problem because I was still getting attention and sex....a year and a half later it was slowly getting less....once per two weeks and since we moved in together once or less per month....he openly says that he masturbates when I ask even though it has been a month since we had sex...he says that he still has desire for me but it is all well knwon for him and he is somehow bored...the thrill is gone ...porn gives him an option to look at something different and imagine something different...I can understand that but it is hurting me that he prefers to masturbate 3 out of4 times every month leaving me feeling undesired and no longer sexually good enough for him....i guess the main problem is the libido mismatch because if he was having high libido wanting it every day or every other day then it would have still been more frequent sex with me even if he masturbated to porn....
October 22, 2016 - 10:08amI have told him about my feelings but his reaction is that he cant do anything about it when he simply doesnt desire me at these moments ...he could go months wirhout sex and then months with everytime sex with me ...it has been like this in his previous relationship and "it is how he is" ....when the thrill is gone ...he isnt intrressted do to it often....
Other times he simply says that masturbating is alot easier and lazier than actually having sex even though I never put pressure on him for making me orgasm...I just enjoy the penetration and the intimacy...it is still quite presurable for me so I don't know what is so much more work in sex with me....
I am constantly on the edge of breaking up or staying...I know I have no strings attached but only one big - I really love him and he is really good to me in every other aspect...I just don't know if he actually wants me at all sexually and he doesn't give a straight answer...every time says different things .he is bored of me because he knows me and the sex with me...other times he says he simply gets it easier with porn but still has desire for me....once he even said something like he will push himself to have sex with me when we decide to have children...i don't know I feel helpless too....I clearly cannot be somebody new to him so the interest stays...I am willing to stay if he can preserve a regular normal sexual activity where I can feel desired by him ...you are quite lucky compared to a lot other people...
This Comment
Reply