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God I just got out of a two hour argument bawling my eyes out because my boyfriend and children's father has made me feel completely undesirable and disgusting. He has cheated on me and talked to men on Craigslist and watches tranny porn and stuff and with him only having sex with me when I argue and cry. Definitely pity sex and even then he is a dead fish. I ask myself constantly what is wrong with me. I think my boyfriend is gay and just doesn't want to come out because his father is so against it. I have two children with this man and live him more then I could ever explain. But I am so tired of feeling unwanted and scared that sooner or later he is going to decided that he wants to be with a man. After having children with me and playing family. I really don't know what to do anymore