I'm not sure this will even get a reply because most don't seem to have one but I've got to vent about this to someone other then my best friend (she's never even had sex so don't know what help she'd be)
I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 26. We've bee together 6 years and intimacy has slowly become our biggest problem.
Rather then refusing to discuss our issues he is open about it, at least until I ask if we can have more sex. On average it's usually once a week, but if I don't ask it's once a month.
He doesn't have problems physically in this area, but what I feel so sad over is that if I didn't bring up new things to try he doesn't seem to care whether it's the same every single time or not.
It got a lot worse when I started asking if we could maybe try some new stuff. Nothing too challenging just a tad more kinky. And he says "Well I figured we could just do what we normally do."
What we normally do is ME getting my own self off first before he has his turn. It's gotten so boring. And what makes it worse is that he doesn't seem to care about learning anything that makes me feel good. He isn't gentle most of the time when he touches me down there and I have to ask him to stop because he'll press so hard it hurts. In fact the whole idea of touching me seems to be something he doesn't enjoy, so I don't ask anymore. It's not like I have bad hygiene (im neurotic about being clean and smelling good) but it seems like every thing that involves more than regular sex he doesn't like. He doesn't like oral, bjs, using your hands. At most he seems to enjoy being rough and dominating me (which I really like) but there's only so many times that's fun before your body needs a break from being sore. Then it just goes back to normal boring sex, if that doesn't just stop altogether.
It's like showing someone endless variety and they just want the blandest thing possible EVERY TIME.
He has no drive, no imagination. Unless it comes to reading erotica. He loves getting off to that because it means no me, no intimacy, and no pressure.
Our life if getting so much better in every aspect except this one, so I'd rather work on this one problem rather than throw all of our history away.
Could he really be so afraid of trying something new?
He says he trusts me more than anybody but not about this.
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I'm not sure this will even get a reply because most don't seem to have one but I've got to vent about this to someone other then my best friend (she's never even had sex so don't know what help she'd be)
June 7, 2017 - 12:41pmI'm 24 and my boyfriend is 26. We've bee together 6 years and intimacy has slowly become our biggest problem.
Rather then refusing to discuss our issues he is open about it, at least until I ask if we can have more sex. On average it's usually once a week, but if I don't ask it's once a month.
He doesn't have problems physically in this area, but what I feel so sad over is that if I didn't bring up new things to try he doesn't seem to care whether it's the same every single time or not.
It got a lot worse when I started asking if we could maybe try some new stuff. Nothing too challenging just a tad more kinky. And he says "Well I figured we could just do what we normally do."
What we normally do is ME getting my own self off first before he has his turn. It's gotten so boring. And what makes it worse is that he doesn't seem to care about learning anything that makes me feel good. He isn't gentle most of the time when he touches me down there and I have to ask him to stop because he'll press so hard it hurts. In fact the whole idea of touching me seems to be something he doesn't enjoy, so I don't ask anymore. It's not like I have bad hygiene (im neurotic about being clean and smelling good) but it seems like every thing that involves more than regular sex he doesn't like. He doesn't like oral, bjs, using your hands. At most he seems to enjoy being rough and dominating me (which I really like) but there's only so many times that's fun before your body needs a break from being sore. Then it just goes back to normal boring sex, if that doesn't just stop altogether.
It's like showing someone endless variety and they just want the blandest thing possible EVERY TIME.
He has no drive, no imagination. Unless it comes to reading erotica. He loves getting off to that because it means no me, no intimacy, and no pressure.
Our life if getting so much better in every aspect except this one, so I'd rather work on this one problem rather than throw all of our history away.
Could he really be so afraid of trying something new?
He says he trusts me more than anybody but not about this.
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