I am so glad you reached out to us! It is difficult to imagine living with a person day-after-day who is verbally, emotionally, financially, physically and socially abusive.
You mentioned that you are "fed up" and "leaving", and as I posted in my last response, please know that leaving an abusive situation takes some planning, as these are the times when abuse can escalate into more physical violence (your husband has already resorted to physical violence, and he likely knows just the right amount of power and control needed for each situation).
I urge you to call your local Women's Shelter. Here is how to find one in your state: http://www.womenshealth.gov/Violence/state/
Please email me (private message) and I can help you find a shelter in your state if you need assistance. Write us back and let us know what the shelter says; you do not have to stay with them, but they have hotlines that help.
Or, you can call The National Domestic Violence Hotline; they can be reached 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 800-799-SAFE (7233) and 800-787-3224 (TTY). When you call, you will first hear a recording and may have to hold. Hotline staff offer crisis intervention and referrals. If requested, they connect women to shelters and can send out written information.
The Women's Health website Violence Against Women is helpful. If the person you love or live with does any of these things to you, it's time to get help:
* monitors what you're doing all the time
* criticizes you for little things
* constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
* prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family, or going to work or school
* gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
* controls how you spend your money
* controls your use of needed medicines
* humiliates you in front of others
* destroys your property or things that you care about
* threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets, or does hurt you (by hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting)
* uses or threatens to use a weapon against you
* forces you to have sex against your will
* blames you for his or her violent outbursts
(Another red flag to know if you are in an abusive relationship is when the woman is controlled or abused--physically or verbally--during pregnancy. This is a time when the abuse may escalate, as the abuser feels threatened by the pregnancy and baby).
- Have you made any plans to leave with your children?
- Have you made previous attempts to leave?
- Do you have family nearby?
- Have your children ever been hurt or threatened?
You do not have to live in a controlling environment; there is help, support and understanding. I hope you make the call to the national or local hotline soon; you are in control of your future!
Comment Reply
Hi,
I am so glad you reached out to us! It is difficult to imagine living with a person day-after-day who is verbally, emotionally, financially, physically and socially abusive.
You mentioned that you are "fed up" and "leaving", and as I posted in my last response, please know that leaving an abusive situation takes some planning, as these are the times when abuse can escalate into more physical violence (your husband has already resorted to physical violence, and he likely knows just the right amount of power and control needed for each situation).
I urge you to call your local Women's Shelter. Here is how to find one in your state: http://www.womenshealth.gov/Violence/state/
Please email me (private message) and I can help you find a shelter in your state if you need assistance. Write us back and let us know what the shelter says; you do not have to stay with them, but they have hotlines that help.
Here is a Safety Planning List for leaving:
http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence/planning/
Or, you can call The National Domestic Violence Hotline; they can be reached 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 800-799-SAFE (7233) and 800-787-3224 (TTY). When you call, you will first hear a recording and may have to hold. Hotline staff offer crisis intervention and referrals. If requested, they connect women to shelters and can send out written information.
The Women's Health website Violence Against Women is helpful. If the person you love or live with does any of these things to you, it's time to get help:
* monitors what you're doing all the time
* criticizes you for little things
* constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
* prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family, or going to work or school
* gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
* controls how you spend your money
* controls your use of needed medicines
* humiliates you in front of others
* destroys your property or things that you care about
* threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets, or does hurt you (by hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting)
* uses or threatens to use a weapon against you
* forces you to have sex against your will
* blames you for his or her violent outbursts
(Another red flag to know if you are in an abusive relationship is when the woman is controlled or abused--physically or verbally--during pregnancy. This is a time when the abuse may escalate, as the abuser feels threatened by the pregnancy and baby).
- Have you made any plans to leave with your children?
- Have you made previous attempts to leave?
- Do you have family nearby?
- Have your children ever been hurt or threatened?
You do not have to live in a controlling environment; there is help, support and understanding. I hope you make the call to the national or local hotline soon; you are in control of your future!
Take care,
July 6, 2008 - 7:15amAlison B
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