After being abused as a young teenager and raped in my twenties, I finally met and married someone who I loved. But as the marriage went on, for 36 years now, my confidence fell, I gradually became less creative and began to withdraw from all the things I used to enjoy. I feel so flat and tearful. My husband constantly seems to chip away at my self esteem with little remarks that on their own don't seem so bad and are hard to catch and confront. if I manage to he says he's "only joking".