Dr. Wright shares how female cancer patients can ask for help without feeling like a burden to others.
Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel that you deserve or you’re bad or that there’s some shame, blame or guilt attached to your illness because when you have that belief and you ask, “Oh, why did this happen to me, as if I did something wrong. If I really loved God, if God really loved me, if I was a good person this wouldn’t have happened.” You’ve gone into blame, shame, and guilt, and that alienates you from your family because they don’t want you to be feeling guilty, and this starts up a tension dialogue.
So what you want to do is: “This is where I am; this is what we’re doing.” And ask directly for what is needed in the moment, and that moment will pass. Maybe you’ll need someone to drive you somewhere or to take care of certain things. That moment will pass. Don’t go into, “If I ask now, I am going to be a burden forever.” This is impermanent, and it’s a process. So engage in the process with those you love.
About Dr. Barbara Wright, Ph.D.:
Barbara Wright, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist based in Laguna Beach, California. She has been in private practice for over 30 year. During this time she has developed a method and system of compassionate communication for skillful conflict resolution, be it intrapersonal or interpersonal for individuals, couples, families, as well as schools and corporative situations. This method Metta4All, is the culmination of her life’s work as a speech therapist and clinical psychologist.