Today I feel like I am 100 years old. I fell asleep on the couch last night which I’m sure didn’t help with my back pain. I woke up today with my whole body aching. Part of me feels like I need to stretch my body, the other part feels like it needs a vallium. I had a hair appt at 11am today and just couldn’t drag myself out of bed fast enough to make the appointment. I haven’t left the house since Wed when I got home and I know it will feel good to get some fresh air. I just can’t bring my body to cooperate. I am sure that part of this is from the chemo drugs. It is such an indescribable feeling. It is mostly my upper back that hurts now where I had the vertebroplasty surgery.
I ended up taking a valium in hopes that I would just fall asleep through this horrible day. Unfortunately, that didn’t work. Just as I was about to hop into bed to get comfortable, I felt this nausea feeling and then…it was barely to late to make it running to the bathroom. I had to peel myself away from the cool bathroom floor ten minutes later, looking around absolutely disgusted by the hair that had accumulated over time from brushing it in the bathroom. I had scheduled for Jose to come clean, but he had called in sick. I told him it would be fine to come another day. I really wasn’t in the mood to fight the noise of the vaccuum cleaner all afternoon anyway.
My friend Dustin came over and we ended up just hanging out watching an old 80’s movie. It was nice just to be mellow and hang in bed and have someone there. He brought me some drinks, thankfully! The water that I had was just making me sick thinking about drinking it. As a matter of fact, I was scared to put anything down my throat now. It wasn’t until Wes got home at 9:30pm that my stomach felt like it would be able to handle something. He brought me a teriyaki bowl fro Jack in the Box and I slowly noshed on the sticky rice. It seems like the only things that seem to settle my stomach now is plain rice and frozen yogurt or sherbert. I hate this cancer!!! I just want to be able to live a normal life and I feel like I cant even do that with all of the chemo I am on. The sad thing is that I know it’s just going to get worse. The chemo has a cumulative effect on patients. One would think that every three weeks would space it out enough to recoup…we’ll have to see about that.