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A Sad Day in the Battle Against Cancer

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Today was the first day I have been home in awhile. It felt great to be back home. I had to tell myself over an over to calm down and relax. As soon as I woke up I started thinking of all of these things that I had to do, errands to run, and people I needed to be in touch with. I finished a couple of chores around the house and then took a shower to wake me up for the interview for the magazine this afternoon.

The shower took everything out of me. I was exhausted. As I got ready, I carefully brushed my hair checking the brush every few minutes to see if hair was coming out. Thankfully, it was just a little more than usual. Hair seems to be thinning, but no loss yet! My body feels like it is really “fried”. That is the description that have felt last time I was on the infusion drugs. My whole body feels dry and thirsty for nourishment. I have been drinking tons of water and it just doesn’t quench my thirst. I have this burning sensation in my throat, I think this is from the radiation that I did weeks ago. The one thing that feels good to eat is ice cold frozen yogurt. I actually ate almost a whole pint of it today…but that’s really all except for a couple of little roll ups from Zoes. My back feels much better than before, but I can feel the pain creeping in if I miss a dose of meds.

Today our dear friend Kim passed away. She was my “neighbor” at the Cancer Treatment Centers. She and her family were so kind to me while I was there and treated me as part of their family when I didn’t have anyone there. My heart goes out to her family and friends. She was just a young mother with a whole life ahead of her, but I guess god has decided there is another place for her now. It just makes everything so much more real. I was in her room yesterday once I was discharged to say goodbye and she was already not looking well. Her whole family was there with friends surrounding…you could just feel the love in the room. Even though I didn’t know her long, I know the type of person she was, just by who she surrounded herself with. I only wish there was more that I could do. It makes me so angry at this cancer and what it does to people!

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I'm so sorry. It was clear from reading your articles that you and Kim had made a real connection. It seems terribly fast to have lost her when she has been such a presence in your posts lately. You write with such passion and detail that it seems as though we out here in reader-land have lost someone too. Thank you for writing about her. And deepest sympathies for the loss of your friend.

September 1, 2009 - 9:53am
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