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My father has aspergers. Now sixty seven, I have finally realised this. I went through a terrible trauma as twenty one. I was raped, and was addicted to drugs, and had the sense to find refuge at my childhood home to connect with myself and break from the ties that had bindex me. As I became sober and slowly delt with my own problems. I realised that my father, was a client at a massage parlour that I worked. Is aw him in the hallway. at the time I didn't realise this. I thought that it couldn't be possible, and because this was a wrong turn at twenty two, now rectified, I didn't think these feelings would follow me around outside of the world I was living. But now, sober, I have realised that he was there. He knew it theentire time I was home, and he said nothing, he made ailing of making me feel isolated and horrible, as if I had done something wrong towards him. He is a very sick man, upon realising this merely a month ago he still hasn't realised that his treatment of me, as an adult, and his complete refusal to acknowledge his demons of finding himself in such a vulgar place, as well as allowing me to feel misunderstood and alone for the time I spent recovering from my past, in his presence, I find these all so wrong, and so sick. He is a perverse and unkind individual. But on top of that, I have began to realise that he may be the product of aspergers syndrome. Either that, or he has a complete lack of emotionally capability and responsibility. I would like to know that he is aspergers then in some way I can forgive his disgusting behaviour, if not, then he is just a sick person. My question is, how to diagnose somebody else with this kind of disorder. I need to add, that he also takes on characteristics of other people in order to seem normal, or in tune, which he is not. I know this must sound harsh, but living in my shoes and all that I have worked for, for my own self happiness, is worth ask questions for. My very well being nd mental health depends on having some good advice, please respond, Eve
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easier said than done
March 28, 2015 - 7:09pmThis Comment
Hello Eve,
Welcome to the EmpowHER community and thank you for reaching out to us for advice.
Indeed, you have suffered a great deal. But you have triumphed over these obstacles and are in a better emotional and physical place in your life.
I can appreciate your desire to know if indeed your father has Asperger syndrome.
Asperger syndrome is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) considered to be on the “high functioning” end of the spectrum. Affected children and adults have difficulty with social interactions and exhibit a restricted range of interests and/or repetitive behaviors.
Eve, you cannot make the diagnosis. Asperger sydrome diagnosis is generally made by a process of neurological and genetic assessment, cognitive and language testing, and assessment of communication strengths and weaknesses. The assessment depends on the skills of a team comprised of a team that generally includes a psychologist, neurologist, and psychiatrist.
My advice is to let the past go and live your life independently of your father's influence.
Regards,
November 24, 2014 - 10:30amMaryann
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