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I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE ANY HELP. HERE IS MY STORY... I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS. IN THE BEGINNING OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS A BLAST HE ALWAYS GAVE SO MUCH OF HIMSELF AND ALWAYS PUT MY NEEDS FIRST. WHEN IT CAME TO THE SEXUAL SIDE OF THINGS, WELL BECAUSE OF THEY WAY I WAS RAISED AND ALSO MY PERSONAL BELIEVES WE NEVER WENT FURTHER THAN PLEASING EACH OTHER MANUALY, BUT IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT INTERCOURSE DID HAPPEN A FEW TIMES.
WE MOVED AWAY FROM HOME ABOUT A YEAR AGO TO BASICALLY START OVER IN OUR JOBS EXCTR...
I AM NOW AT A POINT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP WHERE I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THING FURTHER AS I LOVE HIM AND WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A FILLING SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP.
I KNOWS THAT BUT STILL SHOWS VERY LITTLE INTRESS IN ME. OF COURSE THIS HURTS MY FEELINGS SO MUCH AS I THOUGHT THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED.
I RECENTLY DESCOVERD THROUGH SELF CONFESSION FROM HIS SIDE AFTER CONFRONTATION FROM ME. THAT HE REGULARY WATCH PORN AND MASTURBATE.
WORDS CAN'T DESCRIBE MY FEELING OF DISCUSS AND HURT!
AND ALL ALONG I BLAMED IT ON HIS WORK STRESS OR ON MYSELF. I FEEL CHEATED AND BETRAYED AND FEEL LIKE I WILL NEVER TRUST HIM AGAIN.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HIS REACTION. IS THIS NORMAL? AM I OVER REACTING? PLEASE ADVISE AND NO THERE IS NO ONE ELSE OF THAT I AM SURE.
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Add a Comment83 Comments
Cant everyone just get along?
August 26, 2009 - 2:14pmPorn is porn, it will always be there.
Just except that fact and let people do what they please.
If you don't like it THAT much,get out of the relationship. Geez
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Ok this is how I feel about it.
August 25, 2009 - 3:09pm#1 Using all caps is implying ur yelling and if you want help yelling isn't a good idea
#2 I hate porn I think its wrong
#3 it you have a problem with him masturbating suggest that you do it together or he lets you watch or even some like masturbating on there partner if he doesn't go for any of those idea's there might be a deeper problem.
But yes as for the porn I can totally understand ur feelings on it and I would not accept it either.
Good luck and take my advice or not its up to you really just offering some help :)
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Hi everybody, special greetings to Scarlet24,
I must say that if someone maintains that you shouldn´t ask him to stop masturbating watching porn, it´s nice, but they don´t fully understand your situation. Freedom is one thing and its influence over relationships the other. I think porn addiction is going to destroy society in a very short time... I can´t say I hate porn, BUT...the amount of time you devote to it and problems it could cause... It´s all very dangerous to relationships and real life in general. You can say that it´s natural and normal, but you, men, can´t expect us, women, love you, if you don´t treat us well. Yes, I´m in the same position, I spend hours everyday thinking what I could change about myself, I nearly don´t eat at all, I´m looking in the mirror all the time and don´t understand what the problem is. I´ve never been this way before, the point is that I´m not satisfied anymore and feel alone, depressed and ugly. Wouldn´t life be easier for all of us, if we stopped this porn foolosophy??? A PORN ADDICTED MAN IS A SELFISH EGOMANIAC!!!
August 25, 2009 - 6:15amThis Comment
I think alot of girls have this issue about porn.
August 20, 2009 - 3:54pmits just how we work.
To breakdown at the first sign of not being good enough.
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Anonymous clearly i said something that hit home! That is the only reason you would act all offensive.
August 19, 2009 - 10:42amHope you learned something from me!
GOOD LUCK!
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(man 44 married 20+ years)
my 2 cents: OP definitely has control issues. RE: partner, Masturbation is probably his way of manifesting something to control himself.
If I got an "itch", I scratch it - it's that simple for guys. Now, if I would choose to scratch it myself rather than with God's most perfect creation of beauty (aka "Woman") - well, then you need to look for the source and stop trying to treat the symptom.
August 19, 2009 - 9:20amThis Comment
I hope to get more feedback on my post above
August 14, 2009 - 11:22amRegards
Scarlet24
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Firstly I would like to say I have absolutely no idee what the issue is with writting in all caps lock.Unless of course you can't read or understand english!
August 14, 2009 - 11:17amAlso I appreciate all the comments/feedback but I must say I feel like most people who responded didn't get it completly right.
Let me give my opinion and thaught on the subjects: when it comes to porn yes i absolutely hate it! This will never change, I am firmly of the opinion that some thing(sex) that is suppose to be beautifull and good gets twisted into some thing ugly and sick and just contributes to makeing this world more nasty and filled with evil than it already is.
I also am deeply dissapointed in the women out there who defends such a disrespecting and degrading potrayel of women.No wonder men aren't gentleman any more and don't care about treating a women with respect!
When it comes to a man who masturbates of course any women/ man has his/her sexual needs and if the woman is completly involved with this I have no problem with it. But please don't be foolish, if he does it with out involving you,you are definately not the only picture on his mind!I feel sex/sexual needs in a relationship is indended as a union between two willing people not always willing in desire, but always in commitment!No matter how wild/kinky or whatever it is that is between them!
I simply just insist on my partner to put my needs/feelings first out of respect and love for me. As I would do in return!I am sertain in doing this any couple will have a strong, and lasting relationship.
I wonder how many people who commented above have been through either failed marriages/relationships?
How many relationships last now days? This would not be the case if couples learn to put each other first.
So in conclusion there is no collar around his neck and if there was he is more than welcome to leave!
I rather be a strong independant woman. Than one who is weak and under estimates her worth!
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first of all i understand exactly what you mean when you say sick and twisted because some of the porn is actually kind of gross but then again theres lots that is entertaining and interesting i have been in a relationship for 3 years now and we are happy. but sometimes a woman can feel more self conscious because they begin to think the girls are sexier and he likes the way they look more than the way you do. usually that's not true. men masturbate when theyre lonely and want to be aroused they want to have sex but maybe think youre not that into it. maybe both of you should change. he should ease up on the porn and you Scarlet should ease up on the overprotectiveness
August 18, 2011 - 9:27pmThis Comment
It is very good for you to be a strong independent woman. Hopefully nobody here will argue with that. And I also think that your boyfriend would want you to be strong as well. I also agree that sex should be beautiful.
Does the situation still stand that he prefers masturbation to real sex? If so, you should probably see a relationship counselor. The counselor might be able to help you understand why he's doing this, help him understand what you want and need from him if you're going to be together, and help the both of you be able to understand how to resolve the problem. Good luck!
September 25, 2009 - 3:09pmThis Comment