Can you offer moral support or suggestions: I don't like my son's nurse, but love his pediatrician

Alison, it's a shame you were made to feel almost like an intruder just for being the mom of a patient in a doctor's office. The first thing it makes me think is this: That nurse is not enjoying what she does. The second thing it makes me think is this: You are probably not the only people whom she is treating that way.

Was this the first time you saw this nurse, or is her attitude habitual? If it's the first time she was this way, I would probably give her the benefit of the doubt for at least one more visit, on the possibility that she was just having a horrible day that other time.

I have a neighbor who used to be a nurse for many years. Recently she went back to nursing after about a decade in another career, and she was astonished at how much had changed. She said that the insurance requires the doctor to see 30 patients a day, which basically means one every 15 minutes, and that she had approximately 2 minutes to greet a patient, take their vitals and get them in a room to await the doctor. She said there was just no time for small talk (even though she's a good conversationalist and would make people feel at ease) and that the personal aspect of the doctor's office had seemed to vanish entirely.

I am wondering if your nurse is under the same kind of pressure to "route" patients through as quickly as possible. It's exactly why she might rush through such things as weighing the baby and discourage you from asking extra questions. And why spending a minute talking to the umpteenth baby of the day might not be her forte.

I think if, in your next appointment, she seems impolite again, that I
would talk to the doctor. In my opinion, front-line workers are representing the people they work for, and it's not our burden to have to be the ones who keep them in line. If you speak with the nurse herself, she may change her behavior just for you; whereas if you speak with the doctor, he may be able to change something in the office culture to encourage better client treatment all the way around.

And to your list of expectations for a doctor, I would like to add the expectation that, barring some emergency that takes them away from their normal work, I be seen within at least 30 minutes of my scheduled appointment time. I know I'm not the only person who has sat in an office forever waiting to be seen. I recently changed doctors after a move and was surprised to find myself in an office that was pleasant, ran on time and treated me like a human, even with short consultations in the doctor's office before any actual exams. It's a shame that this tends to be the exception rather than the rule today.

My take on this is simple. Have a conversation with her. I suggested a book called CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS and another called CRUCIAL CONFRONTATIONS on a different posting. I learned a lot from this book and training that followed on how to effectively communicate with others. Good bedside manners are expected in the "caring" business. Doctors, Nurses, and other healthcare professionals are expected to display a caring attitude while performing their duties. If this nurse is not doing so then you need to have a talk with her and share your concerns as soon as possible. I would recommend you have a talk with her first. If that does not work then go the next step and talk to her supervisor.

Ugh. I definitely feel for you. I loved my dentist. He had a gentle touch, he was a master of calming communication and once when I grabbed his arm because I didn't like the 'sound' of what he was doing, he just stopped for a moment and let me pull my hand away. He didn't say a thing, he just let me uncurl my fingers and set my hand back on the chair. Great man.

His dental hygenist on the other hand -- not so cool. I received what I considered 'lectures' from her. No friendly reminders, no pithy advice, but lectures. In fact, sometimes I would swear she was TRYING to make my sensitive hurt. So, what did I do? I asked for another hygenist. And I got one. In fact, I've had a few since my initial torture sessions and couldn't be happier.

I would check with your doctor's office to find out if there is a different nurse in the office who can better handle your son's needs. My doctor's office has a few nurses and assistants. I hope yours does too. Let us know what you find out.