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When my husband n i met for the first time we used to make love all the time ..in the livingroom on the couch on the carpet everywhere name it...then i became pregnant that didnt change anything we continue to have lots of sex then after i had our daughter omg!!!things changed..we only had sex once n that was like when our daughter was 2months and that was the last time....now our daughter is 7months n stil no sex....i love communicating so i asked him wat is wrong and his like nothing..it will make me feel bad coz il be thinkin is he grossed out by me after havin a baby and when i ask him why are we not having sex,he says its nothing...iv tried spicing things up but nothing everytime i ask him wat happened to our sex like and if we still have one he will be like no we dont have one.he is tired all the time il tel him you cant be tired for 7months ..n he will say im tired n im not gonna be lovvy dovy wen im tired n he will go on sayin im focusing on our daughter..so im tired of forcing him to have sex with me iv kinda accepted that there is no sex in our relationship altho it hurts so bad.oh he says he is stressin on work but even if you stressin sex once day wont kill you right? Is there anything else i can do coz clearly he doesnt wanna have sex with me n somtimes he wunt even kiss me he only kiss me once a day or once in every three days i dont know wats up with him wil this pass is it jus a phase or is it jus a dry spell that will come to an end n when?please help coz i love my him soo much we have a kid together but im on the ned of my rope here.......
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Thanks guys alot.actually he is starting to open up and tel me wat exactly is bothering him,like he told me that he loves me so much and he is glad that am the mother to our daughter n that he loves me no matter wat.that made me feel accepted.so wil see how it goes baby steps for sure i hope everything goes back to normal like it used to.
Thanks again guys.
March 30, 2012 - 11:47pmThis Comment
Hi,
Its really a good advice to meet counsellor but making him to agree to meet is again the question.Dear friend you personally try to understand by observing him & his attitude & it will take time to know better or if he is ready to meet the counsellor then no need to worry & meet them as soon as you both can.Let the discussion with your husband regards to this happen when he is cool & calm and you try to have patience. Meanwhile enjoy your motherhood too because baby needs you & its a gift of God. Nothing is permanent so don't worry much. Forgive if I said anything wrong.
Take care
March 30, 2012 - 2:24amGod Bless
This Comment
Hello isina,
Sometimes, things, like one's sex life, will change after the birth of a child. But, usually, these changes are temporary. A new mother and father may be tired because of sleepless nights that result following the baby's birth. New concerns, such as financial worries, about being able to provide for the child can arise. All of these factors can push the desire to be intimate into the background.
However, it seems that your husband has lost all interest in being affectionate with you. Would he agree to seeing a couple's counselor? Or would both of you feel more comfortable talking with your doctor? Sharing your problem with your obstetrician may be helpful.
In order to make your sexual relationship healthy again, the two of you need to work on it together, with the help of a trained professional, who may be able to find the real reason that your husband has lost his sex drive.
Maryann
March 29, 2012 - 5:03pmThis Comment