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How long after coming off the pill dose it usually take to get pregnant?

By July 3, 2010 - 6:44am
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Yes this has been very helpful to read through and i understand that i have had issues with getting pregnant in the past, and have only had that one time "false alarm" and i can't describe the dissapointment both me and my partner felt when we found out that i was'nt actually pregnant after all ... Ever since that time we've both thought hard about it and its something we both want, me and my partner are both in a really good and stable relationship to start thinking about a baby.

July 14, 2010 - 9:53am

Yes it's a big deal for me to start a family of my own, and have been thinking about it for the past few moonths ... There was a point were i had a feeling that i was pregnant and when i took the last of three tests to make sure i was'nt pregnant the dissapointment that came after was unbelieveable, so yes i can't wait to have my first child and i'm sure my partner will be just as happy.

July 13, 2010 - 10:59am
(reply to Lola_marie)

Hi Lola_marie,

I've read your other posts, too, and wanted to offer my two cents.

Although I intellectually "know" the medical literature, it is still "emotionally" difficult to internalize this knowledge. It sounds like you are fully knowledgeable on conception, but emotionally are unable to cope with the fact that it is a process.

I really do understand; I actually thought that the second I stopped my birth control, that I would get pregnant! We (women) are conditioned to think that if we do not take our birth control, we will instantly become pregnant. So, if we have been living this way for many years, it should work in our favor, right? If we WANT to become pregnant, we stop taking birth control, and we will get pregnant?! Unfortunately, it does not work this say; we are not super-fertile beings with eggs just waiting to be fertilized at any given opportunity!

Every month that went by for us, as we were trying to conceive, I was also devastated when my period came. I was embarrassed that I felt this way, because I knew each cycle I only had a 20% chance of conception (as does every fertile woman). I couldn't talk to many friends or family about it, because how do they really know what you are going through emotionally at the time, right?! It sounds so easy to keep saying, "keep trying!", but then your period comes....again.

I know it is unbelievably disappointing, but I do have some tips if you are open to them?

This time in your life is a GREAT time to get to know yourself, and practice all of the characteristics that you think make a great parent. One of those characteristics (I am speaking from experience, too, as I have a 3 year old, as well as a 3 month old), is patience. And deep breathing. And coping skills, along with stress management. Also perspective.

These are not only characteristics of a good parent, but just of being a good person and friend, too. These are also characteristics that other people (and children!) would like to be around. No one is perfect, of course, but, imagine that you ARE pregnant right now, and think back to this time in your life where you are feeling out-of-control, stressed, anxious, disappointed, mentally-drained, single-focused. I hope this reflection would cause you to want to change how you are feeling, and the good news...you are in this time of your life now, and you do have the ability to change!

If you would like to look back at this time in your life, and think, "wow! I remember when I was so excited to have a baby, and I was happy, content with my life, excited about the future, and dreaming of a new life", then you CAN start practicing the skills NOW to be able to have that broader perspective.

I know I wish I did this a little better!

Practice the skills of patience, gratitude, self-reflection, self-control and stress management. You will be an even better parent, friend, co-worker if you have these skills at their optimal level, and you will feel good about this time in your life.

You can start by looking at each of your menstrual cycles as an opportunity; there is no guarantee or "entitlement" to conceiving.

Try to not be discouraged or disappointed with every period, but see it as another month to learn and practice your new skills, have more time to reflect, and not analyze every detail. Women have been having babies for thousands of years, and no amount of worrying, feeling discouraged or sadness, or mulling-over symptom details will create a baby any faster.

We are here to help you answer questions, but I wanted to make sure that your emotional health is OK, too, and give you some friendly advice since I have "been there". I hope this helps??

July 13, 2010 - 1:34pm

I talked with my doctor and came off the pill about a week ago and my doctor said it was ok to start trying to get pregnant pretty much straight away but as i've been taking the pill i should maybe wait until i recieve a normal period before i "try to get pregnant" as i could misscarriage, but he also said that all people are different and if i tried starting soon i could be lucky enough to conceve. What would your advice be?

July 12, 2010 - 11:22am

thank you for your advice and i will book an appointment to speak with her, i will inform you of any advice i get.

July 5, 2010 - 11:45am

I am also 22 and have been taking my pill for 3months, i have a really good health history and have no family history of any illnesses either. I would like to maybe start thinking about trying to get pregnant around september time, so if i came off the pill now and left myself a month to recieve a normal period would it be harder or easyier to get pregnant in september/october time?

July 5, 2010 - 3:47am
(reply to Lola_marie)

As I said, this is a difficult question to answer because it is different for everyone. Some people need help to get pregnant, some get pregnant at the drop of a hat. I still recommend you discuss this with your gynecologist/obstetrician.

Good luck to you.

July 5, 2010 - 6:41am

Hello Lola Marie

I'm sorry to tell you there is no one good answer to this question. There are many, many variables:
How long have you been on the pill?
How old are you?
What is your health history?
These are just a few of the questions involved. Many people now consult with a gynecologist/obstetrician when they have decided they want to get pregnant. It's a good idea because your doc has your health history and can give you advice as to how long to wait, vitamins or supplements to take, dietary suggestions so you are in very good health thus helping your baby be healthy. http://www.acog.org/publications/patient_education/bp056.cfm

My advice is to talk to your gynecologist about your decision so you can get specific, accurate information on your particular situation. We do have a lot of discussion on fertility: https://www.empowher.com/pregnancy/content/fertility-what-advice-do-you-give-women-trying-conceive-dr-dao.

Good luck!

July 3, 2010 - 8:24am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Cary Cook BSN RN)

I am 22years old and have been on the pill for almost 4months now, me and my boyfriend are starting to get rather broody and think maybe we should start thinking about a baby. Do you think i am to young to start thinking about children or is it normal for a girl of my age to want a family of my own?

July 5, 2010 - 3:35am
(reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anonymous

You are going to find that people have very strong opinions about this. Many will say you are too young. I personally was married and had my son when I was 22, and I felt it was a good age for me because I still was young and had lots of energy to chase after a child. I was also very healthy and that is terribly important.

I suggest you look at your own situation carefully. Are you and your boyfriend going to be together indefinitely? Do you have a means to support a child? It is expensive. Are you ready to basically turn your life over to a child? Especially when they are small, your life will pretty much revolve around the baby 24/7. Have you spent time around children? Do you live in a safe place? Do you have family or friends to support you emotionally? You will need that more often than you realize.

Most of us kind of jump into having children, and then make it work. That's fine if it works. But it will definitely turn your life on its head, so you must be ready for that. I think if you are really ready and have the financial and emotional means, you are not too young. Just remember this is a life long commitment. My son is 23 and back living at home again for a while thanks to the economy. Once you are a mom, you are a mom forever, good or bad.

I'm guessing we will see a lot of feedback on your question. Thanks for writing. Good luck to you.

July 5, 2010 - 6:49am
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