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Just found out that my mom has been diagnosed with stomach cancer

By August 5, 2014 - 10:21am
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Hello, I am looking for ways in which I can cope with my mom who has been diagnosed with the early stages of stomach cancer. While earlier we had thought it was localized, the doctors had located it in her ovaries (and they have been removed). This is all very new and unexpected news to me as I am coping with my PhD program and a wonderfully new relationship that just materialized a couple of months over this summer. I am also currently doing my PhD but so far it seems that I will be taking a leave of absence till January so that I can stay and spend time with my mom and family (and best friend and boy friend). I am very much confused and don't know what I should do to cope with the news. I am otherwise very strong and try to live my life to the fullest. I cannot seem to be doing able to do so. I have a great support system but I don't want to bother them all the time.

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Hello Nidhi Shrivastava,

I am so glad that you turned to the EmpowHER community for support during this difficult time. Just so you know, we're here because we care about you!

I can only imagine how hopeless you feel especially after you thought the doctor's caught the cancer during their last attempt at removing her ovaries. This kind of news is very traumatic. Your mother is very fortunate to have such a wonderful, loving and loyal daughter to support her! 

Coping with this kind of news is not easy and everyone reacts differently. I am guessing that your mother is proud of you for your academic accomplishments and wants to see you happy and in love!

If it were me, I would look really deep inside my soul and sort out my priorities. A PhD program and caring for a sick mother are both full time jobs, possibly too much for even the strongest person to handle, plus embarking on a new and wonderful relationship that seems to have life long potential.

I would suggest that something has to give and whatever decision you come to, then put your whole heart and soul into that and cherish this time with your mother, family and best friend. 

Sometimes life throws us a curve ball and plans are just 'plans'-they can change in the blink of an eye!

Nidhi, I am impressed with your courage and being brave is not as easy as we'd hope. As for your support system, there will be times when they don't know the right thing to say or aren't available...that's just life. I hope that your new partner will be a rock for you and is as caring and dedicated as you are. 

If you are ever feeling alone or confused, please reach out to us here at EmpowHER-we're here to listen! Please keep in touch with me.

All the best,


August 5, 2014 - 12:26pm
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