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Living with a bi-polar boyfriend, please help.

By April 12, 2011 - 11:26am
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My boyfriend is bi-polar, but he will not get medical help. I trust his choice in this. It's his life. His grandpa that he most closely related to was bi-polar w/o medication as well, and I feel that this is the reason he refuses medication.

I am seeking any help that I can to help me to learn to better deal with his changes. It feels as if I am dating two different people. One day he loves me and the next day he hates me. I would generally attribute this to things said or done, but it's happening more often now when nothing has changed.

I love him so much and I don't want to leave due to his problem. I need a way to live with him and not let his medical problems affect my own happiness.

Please help..

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EmpowHER Guest

I also have a similar situation with my boyfriend. His brother and most of his other family members are bipolar as well. His brother is medicated and only managed to remain stable for like 6 years and then got hooked on the opiates that he took for his back problems. This is why my boyfriend does not address his disorder or try to seek medical advice.

I have a child with this man and love him very much, however his personality seems to be changing for the worse. He is often depressed and or angry. Some life stresses that he is currently enduring are not helping either. He jumps to irrational conclusions and often blames me for his troubles. Issues do not get resolved because it is like pulling teeth to get him to talk and when we do talk things through, the same problem comes back a day or two later.

Anyways, I miss the loving person I know is in there, I miss my sweet man. At this point I don't know what to do and I'm not even sure that medication would even help him.

August 4, 2012 - 7:40pm

As a person with this disorder (and medicated for the last 17 years, I am 30) I am coming off my medications to get pregnant. I was speaking to my doctor yesterday and explained to her an instance that I had with my husband where I severely over reacted about soemthing so silly. My therapist told me that I will have to learn to deal with these instances now that I will be a little less "steady." She said one thing though that really sticks out in my mind and can relate to your situation. Just becasue your boyfriend (and I) have this disorder, does not give him the rigt to speak or act in an unloving way. She told me to take a walk, or scream and cry or throw things - basically do whatever I need to do, before I address him. I think this will help. If he is not willling to take medication, then he needs to work on treating you in a way that your relationship and love for each other is validated daily.

Hope its helpful.

April 20, 2011 - 10:11am

The first step is to educate yourself about bipolar disorder, which is characterized by alternating periods of elevated moods or mania and periods of depression. Here is the link to the website, PubMed Health, which provides a good overview of the disorder:
It is very difficult for a person with a bipolar disorder to functional normally without medical intervention. But, it is your boyfriend's choice. You need to be aware of the impact his disorder can have on your mental well-being and physical safety. A support group can be a good resource for you. Good Luck.

April 12, 2011 - 5:17pm
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