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sometimes i just tell a lie just for the sake of saying. why??

By April 11, 2009 - 5:47am
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Sometimes when i am feeling lonely or dipressed, i go to my friends and talk to them. But without realizing it myself i always speak a lie and that too of kind which can fetch me some sympathy. why does this happen and why dont i realize it while doing so??

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I want to echo Susan's thoughts. I think you are awesome to come and ask this question, and to examine why you are lying at the times when you are.

If I read your answer correctly, though, what you are saying is that at the moment you tell the lie, you actually believe it yourself. Is that right? Is it only later when you regret what you have said?

Do you think that you believe, somewhere inside, that you are not worthy of people's affections on your own? That if you don't lie, people won't like you or sympathize with you?

I think you've made a crucial step here, but admitting this is a problem for you. I would guess that the next thing that will happen is that you WILL start to catch yourself as you tell a lie. And after that, you may be able to catch yourself right before you tell a lie. It is just a matter of becoming conscious of what you're saying and why.

There are some people who are what is called "pathological liars," who actually cannot stop themselves from lying. (Though to a greater degree than you describe). However, one of the underlying principles of this kind of lying is that there is little or no benefit to be seen. A pathological liar would lie about how much the milk cost, or whether it was raining, or where they grew up.

But you specifically understand that you are lying for sympathy or affection, which makes perfect sense considering your background.

If you would like to read about pathological lying, here is an article from the Psychiatric Times:


On the other hand, you may be what is called a "compulsive liar," who is someone who simply lies out of habit. And they point out that to someone who is used to lying, lying may actually feel better than telling the truth. Telling the truth seems more awkward to these people, because they aren't used to it. It's almost like chewing our fingernails -- we don't even notice we are doing it until later.

Here's a page that talks about the difference between pathological and compulsive liars. They even have a quiz:


Hang in there. I think you're on your way to being able to slowly conquer this. Does you relate to any of this information? Does it help at all?

April 12, 2009 - 7:31am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Diane Porter)

Diane p,

You know after reading your answers and those articles I am actually feeling better. Thanks a lot for all this. I really appreciate your concern.

You know earlier I used to hesitate in admitting it myself. But after all the responses I have got on EmpowHer I am actually feeling great.

Now i get this feeling that I will be Able to fight With it..

Thank you so much..

With regards

April 16, 2009 - 7:55am
EmpowHER Guest

I think everyone needs attention sometimes. If we have to tell a white lie to obtain it, thats the objective. I don't believe there is something wrong with that, I think that it may be necessary sometimes to remind ourselves that we are human and we certainly need people in our lives. RIGHT?

On another thought, if you have the ability to make people believe these white lies, you could always sign up for law school.Ok, that was bad.....

April 11, 2009 - 9:45am
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