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Why wont he have sex with me?

By Anonymous May 11, 2011 - 8:32pm
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Im 26 and have been with my partner for over 6 years. We broke up after 2, for a few months, but got back together things are better than ever. We are very much in love and i think we're both on the same page in terms of a future together. However, since we got back together our sex life is some what, none exsistant.

When we first got together, he was my first and we had sex lots. He was very sexual and almost always initiated it. When we got back togther i noticed that had changed and i was the one leading, although it never seemed to go anywhere. I wondered if i was doing something wrong.. i tried all the usual lingere, sex toys etc but the interest had gone. We talked about it and one of the problems he had, was that i had been with somebody else during our break. He wasnt mad, it just played on his mind and decreased his libido. We talked at length and i told him he nothing to worry about, this person didnt mea anything to me anymore.

I thought id found the root of the problem and things would go back to normal, but i was wrong, and here we are. I love him and i wont leave him because of this, he's my best friend, the only person i trust with anything. Sex is such a small part, however its still important to me. I feel loved, and cared for and he makes me feel wanted... but... i need to feel "wanted"!! Neither of us has cheated, we cuddle and kiss and love spending time together, it just seems to be this one problem i dont know how to solve!?

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Hi Anonymous,
Thank you for your question and for finding EmpowHER. It can be hard to replace emotional damages. Your boyfriend may eventually be able to put the past behind you. If you were broken up, it was fair game.
Just as every relationship is unique, so are the reasons or causes behind your partner's choices in his behavior towards you. We have compiled the “best responses” received from both men and women in regards to your specific question, and hope you read through them thoughtfully. Women have been going through the same struggles, and have shared their insight and lessons learned. Men have also shared why they did not want to have sex in their strained relationships. Please let us know what “words of wisdom” or “tips” resonated with you from the following articles:

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May 12, 2011 - 7:03am
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