Facebook Pixel

Why Wont he have sex with me? What am i doing wrong?

By January 12, 2014 - 8:50pm
Rate This

My fiance and I have been together 2 yrs and will be getting married in april. At the beginning of our relationship i always had to initiate sex between us. I always thought that maybe he was shy or something. But i asked him and he told me the relationship right before me and him he was very sexually active. I have a very high sex drive and i often feel like im nagging him to make love to me. Today he told me (after i jokingly asked) that he masturbates about 1 or 2 times a day. I DONT have a problem with masturbation but it is a problem when u openly tell me you mastubate but you always push me away when i try to be intimate. He could be fully aroused .. and when i try to initiate sex he will turn me down and tell me not right now or hell tell me his not in the mood.. but he will be perfectly erect...when i asked him about it he said hes just lazy. It kinda makes me feel bad.. alot because i dont know what i can do i dont want to nag him

Add a Comment2 Comments

Please be very careful and mindful of other relationship issues that involves both of you! Things I am saying is certainly not to incite you by any means but just put some frank ideas of reality on the subject! Too often people are HURT because somebody else is playing them for a novice. When you truly care about a person your guard is normally down and you just aren't mindful of polluted ideas; BUT sometimes it just best to think self preserving! MEN do not normally turn down their WOMAN if she is all the sex he's getting! Make sure he doesn't have any sexual issues (which if he's masturbating probably he doesn't)! My first question after inquiring about the medical, physical and emotional problems: IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE? Make sure you are not taking care of a man on the other end who's giving his goods to another person not limited to a female! Not falsely accusing but just placing food for thought! Because there are lots of reason and if the two of you are engaged then communication must be open, careful, clear and without question!

January 14, 2014 - 8:49am
EmpowHER Guest

Hi dollian06,

Welcome to EmpowHER.   You definitely need to discuss with him your concerns and let him know how you feel about this. Maybe he can open up a little more and explain what might be going through his mind. It's not a normal behavior, especially if he has been sexually active before.  If you can not come to an agreement, you should seek psychotherapy before getting into a marriage.  This can eventually get worst with time and cause more problems while married.  Hope this was helpful?



January 13, 2014 - 4:58am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!