Queenstown is everything I thought it would be and better. The hotel itself is nothing to brag about, but the views from the lobby are outstanding. We arrived late last night to the bustling downtown. It seemed by far the busiest of the towns that we have been to. The town is like a little ski town only better because it actually has a lake as well.
Queenstown is known as the adrenaline city of the world. There is tons of heart pumping activities such as skydiving, hangliding, helicopter tours, water sports, skiing, bungee jumping, jet boats, luge rides, parasailing, canyoneering and more! Tomorrow I am taking a helicopter ride to a glacier and then off to another neighboring lake. Carol is going to do one of the adrenaline tours that include the jetboats and skydiving. We are going to meet up tomorrow afternoon to go hangliding. It should be a blast.
Today we walked around town to get our bearings. The weather finally cleared up and for awhile it was actually hot outside. I can’t believe how many tourists are here. I read somewhere that there is over one million people that visit here a year. One of the kiwis was telling us that everyone that lives here are Aussies, Japanese, and others who weren’t born here. This city is very transient. The condos and apartments on the waterfront are surprisingly affordable. I saw a two bedroom apartment for about $280,000 (U.S. dollars), quite the deal for a waterfront home. If it wasn’t so darn far away I would look into it.
This whole trip has been really good for me. I think getting out and away from my routine at home was a good way to shake things up. I have had back pain pretty much the entire time, which makes me nervous for the next PET scan. I have been not feeling too great in the mornings and it usually takes me a little while to get going. My body is so tight and tired in the morning, so I have been drinking coffee to help get the day going. I think it is just my body rebelling against the daily activities. I am definitely not used to doing so much everyday, but I am still making plenty of time to rest and not pushing it too much.
I just ran out of methadone this morning so thankfully we are heading back in a couple of days so I can get more. The longest I have gone is four days without it and my body definitely started feeling like it was going through withdraws. Hopefully, I can make it by with the dilaudid I have. Carol and I did get massages at Manly Beach. Actually, it was in the ferry terminal. I know, it sounds terrible, but it started with a foot massage and then next thing I know I am getting a whole body massage. It was definitely not a good idea, but felt so good at the time. I am kicking myself now. Carol is having back pain as well, but hers is from a car accident and work accident from last year.
This afternoon I received a disturbing email from someone close to me that has been following the blog. Apparently, they felt that I painted them in a not so positive light. I have had a couple of people throughout the year make suggestions on things that I should include and discuss. I am always open to suggestions, but it does bother me when people try to dictate what I should and shouldn’t say, especially if the content is true.
Most of you know that I am not a malicious or manipulative person. I would never do something to purposely hurt someone, especially someone I care about. The point of this whole blog was originally to get my thoughts out on paper. It just so happened that it also became a great way to communicate information to a lot of people at once.
I don’t like talking on the phone and I certainly don’t have enough energy to tell the same story and health update to everyone. The content that I include usually just exhibits feelings related to my cancer and non-important day to day activities. I know that I can’t please everyone, but I definitely should not have to feel like I am sensoring my thoughts because I accidently may offend someone.
Just like in real life, it is impossible to be perfect and happy all of the time. I have way too much on my mind and as long as I can sleep at night with a clear conscious I am okay. Just to be clear, I do go to bed at night with a very clear conscious. I am thankful to those that love and care for me, I help out friends in need, and I am open and honest with people around me. Those that know me know that what you see is what you get. I have nothing to hide and wear my heart on my sleeve.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I never mean to hurt anyone and if someone takes what I write about personally then I’m sorry. It’s not the spirit it is intended, and when I am writing I just write whatever is on my mind. There is no deep planning of attack or things of that nature. I don’t have the energy for it.
For those of you that are reading this and understand what I’m saying then let me reiterate that this blog is meant for me and me alone. If others find it helpful and feel it is a benefit to read it because they feel closer to me, then I’m happy it’s helping others.
I get emails on a daily basis from people that don’t know me and just stumble across the blog and find it inspirational for whatever reason. I think that I have been contacted by so many people that don’t know me because I am real. There is no fluff to what I am writing, it’s just honest. I’m not trying to impress anyone or out to make myself look better. So please, before you contact me with any feelings of hurt, drama, or whatnot, just remember that I am the one with terminal Cancer and life is too short to put on a show and be perfect Melissa.
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