I read some very heartbreaking stories as well as some questions with people looking for answers. I always wanted to be a mom. I married at 34 a month before 35. My husband was turning 40. I had had 2 unplanned pregnancies with a long term boyfriend and lost both very early. Miscarriage is difficult, but it was nothing compared to my ectopic pregnancies. My first one was a surprise. We were not married yet, but it was in our plan. I found out I was pregnant. My HCG levels were good but my doctor is extremely good. He is an associate professor at Stanford and assists on high risk pregnancies. I don't drink, smoke,do drugs, nothing. It is standard for my doc to do an ultrasound at 5-6 weeks to verify a Sac and heartbeat. We didn't see anything but my uterus lining was thick and I wasn't bleeding. I was set to go back in a week. Nothing at the next appt and HCG went down. I was given a shot of methotrexate. That is supposed to stop the cells from reproducing. Your body is supposed to take care of the rest. I was getting check ups and I wasn't feeling right. I was at home and got a terrible stabbing pain in my left lower abdomen. I didn't realize right away that I had blown my tube cuz I assumed the methotrexate had worked. It was a month later and it took me 3 days before I let my husband take me in. I was starting to go into shock. Lost loads of blood and was scared I was going to die. I lost my left tube. I still had hope with the right one. As soon as we were married we got right on it due to our ages. I tried Clomid and I used an ovulation stick. I got pregnant but miscarried early again. We decided to do insemination in the doctor's office 3 times but nothing. We did do a hystrosalpinogram and my tube was open. We saw no reason I shouldn't have been able to get pregnant. We were moving in July of 2005 and I found out I was expecting again. We were monitoring everything so I was supposed to go in the following Monday. I want everyone to know doctors can be clever and got some of me tests covered by insurance. Some things we came out of pocket. I found out the cheapest places to get meds - Costco for some believe it or not. On Friday night I got the same horrible pain and this time I knew what it was. We lived 40min from the hospital and I was home alone. Drove myself internally bleeding. My husband met me and I was off to surgery. When I was waking up I heard a woman saying that I was infertile now. Tears streamed down my face. I heard her say since I got pregnant easily and it appeared the issues were my tubes, I was probably a great candidate for IVF. I couldn't think of that. I didn't know that there was "Care Credit" which is a credit card for medical and dental services. Other options but in that moment all I heard was infertile over and over. I was actually suffering from pain longer than I should. I have said it already, but I had a wonderful doctor. He sent me for an HCG test . I had lost my tube and it had been long enough my levels should have been going down. I ended up with all sorts of tests and I had something else that I would have died from. Gestational Trophoblastic Disease. When the on-call OB removed my tube, she missed some of the cells from the fetus. They were multiplying and had they not been found they were growing into a tumor. It would have ended up in my lung causing a clot and killing me. I was treated with methotrexate again ,twice the dose but prepared for surgery if necessary. It worked and I was anemic and weak. After about 6 months my doctor sent me to a fertility clinic. My husband and I both went through tests and all kinds of poking and prodding. My family members wanted to try to help my dream come true. They gave us $10,000.00 I put it in an account and they even discounted some items because they had cash. I had to get shots in my belly , not bad. They are like the needles that look like a pen and it was just a pinch. After these started so did ultrasounds. They time everything to an exact science. Once the eggs were ready we did the harvest. I was put out when that was going on. About the time that is going on, my husband had to provide a sample. They put me in a recovery room and tell us about how many eggs look good to the eye. There is more science to that . Then you go home not knowing if you have any good fertilized eggs and if so, how many? So it seemed sad, only 3. We knew at our age the likelihood of having the money again this was probably our only chance. So those 3 fertilized eggs continued to multiply ,one more than the other two. Normally they implant 1 or 2 embryos. All circumstances were taken in to consideration. I actually signed a paper that said if I ended up with more than twins I would agree to all genetic test. If I was going to have triplets or more I agreed to genetic testing and possible selective reduction. We had the transfer. I was awake and watched the entirely the time. It turned out that I was watching my daughter being inserted and she ended up attaching herself to my uterus. My body apparently absorbs the embryos that didn't take. I was told to rest 2 or 3 days and then back to my regular day. I was on pins and needles! I went from being sure that it didn't work and after all was done we had thrown $15,000.00 away to being sure it worked. It was the longest 9 days of my life. I got the call from the nurse and she said I had a "chemical pregnancy ". Until I was hitting 10 weeks (between 10-12) it is not a legit pregnancy. I had a perfectly easy pregnancy and I have a beautiful 8 year old little girl. I hope all of you who think losing your tubes means getting pregnant is not impossible! Those of you who have twisted or damaged tubes need to be seen by on OB that does female infertility or straight to a fertility doctor. Insurance does cover most testing to determine causes of infertility. With new laws there might be even better coverage. Please don't ever think you are damaged or something is wrong with you. If you are not able to carry a baby, there are so many babies and children that needs homes. That would have been my next step once I was ready. I am separated now, so not ideal situation to add to my family. I think there are many great parents looking for kids to love. I hope either way, everyone is happy and healthy!
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