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When Trying To Conceive, How Often Should A Couple Have Sex? - Dr. Bastuba

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Doctor Bastuba describes how often a couple should have sex when a woman is ovulating and the couple is trying to conceive.

One question that couples ask is, “When my partner is ovulating, should we be having sex once a day, twice a day, three times a day?” While many males are hoping for that three times a day answer, the reality is that once a day or even once every other day is likely quite adequate for most couples.

Again, that allows the sperm, once released inside an ovulating female, the female’s body actually changes and the fluids in her body are much more sperm-friendly. They are actually made to help the sperm stay alive; the pH is adjusted, the protein content is adjusted all in a sperm-friendly way. So the sperm are going to hang around for a while. Once every day or every other day is quite adequate for a typical couple.

About Dr. Martin D. Bastuba:
As San Diego's leading subspecialist in male fertility and male and female sexual dysfunction issues, Dr. Martin Bastuba gives hope to couples who have been unable to conceive, and to men and women who are experiencing the anxieties and frustration of sexual dysfunction. He offers complete diagnosis, treatment, prevention techniques and education for his patients.

Visit Dr. Bastuba at his Web site

Add a Comment2 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

If you're not enjoying sex, or if you don't have time to have sex, what business do you have having kids?

It can be sad and frustrating when couples with a healthy relationship want to have kids and have fertility problems, and I think fertility problems are an important topic and worth discussing, but sometimes when I read posts like this, I think...how is this relevant to anything? Isn't this skirting the issue?

If sex is a chore (which usually seems to happen more for the woman, although it can also be the other way around), it's a sign that something is wrong...bad communication, often a male partner who is selfish and unempathetic. Or it could be that one or both partner is struggling with depression or stressful life circumstances that are interfering with their sex drive. And if a couple doesn't have time to have sex a lot, how in the world are they going to have time to raise kids? Whatever the case may be, these are issues that need to be addressed and worked out before you even think about having kids. They will surface later...and raising kids can be one of the most difficult and stressful things; if it's already bad now, it'll just get worse.

April 14, 2010 - 8:09am
(reply to Anonymous)

I could not disagree more! For couples who have tried to conceive, sex does feel like a chore...AND it can be pleasurable; these two feelings mutually exist.

We have been told from an early age: if you have sex without protection, you will get pregnant!!

Then, when we WANT to be pregnant, and stop using protection... we are surprised when we are NOT pregnant!

We are surprised that trying to conceive is actually WORK, and takes timing, energy, motivation, enthusiasm and lots of mixed emotions. Couples do not feel like having sex just because a woman happens to be ovulating that day, but we have to run to the bedroom to have sex so we don't miss another opportunity and have to wait an entire month to try again! Sex, for the purpose of having a baby, can kind of be stressful! You want to emotionally enjoy and be connected to your partner, knowing you two are trying to make a baby. It is a very special time. However, after a few months of this emotional bonding, then disappointment when your period comes, you begin tracking your cycles, predicting ovulation, and calling your husband: we've got to meet at the house NOW...I'm ovulating! :-) Not exactly romantic, and sometimes we don't feel in the mood, but with a goal of making a baby, we've got to do it. Sure...sex FEELS physically good, but it kind of does feel like a "to do" and a chore at these moments. It is not a sign of anything being wrong...it is actually a sign of two people being real, having GOOD communication with each other and a MATURE relationship, to be able to be honest and admit they don't really feel like having sex at that moment, but don't want to miss the small 24-hour window of possibly being fertile.

I am not sure what your point is that if a couple doesn't have time for sex a lot...how are they going to have time for kids...but it did make me laugh...who does have time for kids! :-) (I've got two little guys, and I don't KNOW how I have time for them, myself, my husband...and everything else).

Actually, I thought I was busy with career and other obligations before kids, too, so I don't know how I had time to have sex before kids, but the old saying "work (and having sex) expands to the time you have" is so true!

November 30, 2010 - 11:54am
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