Today I had a surgery to get a Portocath. In medicine, a port (or portacath) is a small medical appliance that is installed beneath the skin. A catheter connects the port to a vein.
Under the skin, the port has a septum through which drugs can be injected and blood samples can be drawn many times, usually with less discomfort for the patient than a more typical “needle stick”. Ports are used mostly to treat hematology and oncology patients.
The day started at 9am with of course 3 hours of paperwork. The Operating Room was slammed today and ran over an hour behind so I didn’t even get into surgery until after 1pm. They gave me a sedative and put a huge “tent” over my head, just like you see on TV with the hole where they do the surgery. I woke up an hour later back in the recovery room and very groggy.
It feels really strange to have this plastic thing in my skin by my collarbone and it hurts. There is not alot of extra skin or flesh there so everytime I move that area it pulls. I’m sure I’ll get use to it.
The good news is that today is the best day I think I’ve felt since I’ve been out of the hospital. No nausea or stomach pain. I still have major back and right leg pain, but that’s what the pain killers are for. Once the pain killers kick in the pain subsides slightly and feels like I have the flu. Body aches, hot and cold sweats, and headache are all part of the fun.
This morning while I was waiting for the operation, I received an email from Rosanna asking Wes and I to be the godparents of her baby, Magnus. She had mentioned it several times before, but I guess it felt more real this time because we were talking about Baptism dates. I immediately was overcome with sadness. The thoughts kept running through my mind, “what if I’m not around to see him go to pre-school? What about his first date? How about graduation from school? Etc Etc. Then I started thinking of all of my friends young kids…it makes me extremely sad, the pain and fear I feel is totally indescribable.
I told my sister (she flew in yesterday) and the radiologist in the operating room why I was so sad and started crying again and again.