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Living Alone Can Be a Pleasure

By HERWriter
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if you live alone it can be a pleasure Hemera/Thinkstock

Studies and articles tend to focus on the negative aspects of living alone, but there is something to be said for the pleasures of alone time.

Living alone doesn’t always have to be associated with isolation, depression and poor mental health.

In fact, living alone could also be a sign of independence, self-sufficiency, self-actualization (potentially) and even good mental health. Experts weigh in on the potential mental health benefits of living alone.

Mikaya Heart, a life coach and author of books such as “The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women” and “My Sweet Wild Dance,” said that living with others is a more culturally acceptable way of living, but it’s important to our health to live alone at some point. Living alone can actually help you learn more about yourself and who you are.

“You must separate yourself from cultural and familial influences in order to identify what it is that you need, how you want to be in the world,” Heart said.

“We are much more able to get in touch with the personal inner wisdom that is available to all of us when we have quiet space to ourselves; and we may also be able to get in touch with feelings inside that need to be given a voice.”

“Ultimately this always makes us healthier people, but the process of getting in touch with those feelings is sometimes difficult,” she added.

“So there may be a period of time when we are still seeking to distract ourselves from our feelings, and in that period of time, living alone can feel unpleasant, even though it may be a necessary part of the process of achieving health.”

However, it does come down to an individual preference, and there must be a choice to either live alone or with others, or the lack of a choice could lead to unhappiness.

Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of “It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction,” said in an email that if people are connected while living alone, then living alone is not an issue.

“If a person has a social circle and is active, living alone is not a problem,” Tessina said.

“In fact, it can be healthier than living with someone in a dysfunctional relationship.

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EmpowHER Guest

In my boring post fifty gay experience living alone is grand and from the looks of those who live with others I am the lucky one. Partnering in the straight world is tough enough but in the gay world it is simply stupid, at least for me. Dealing with the attrition of dating and the toll it takes on your mind trust issues and delicate heart it makes sense to live alone and carefully explore friendships and very carefully date. For me living alone is an elegance I can not put into words. Discovering it is amazing and you may find that you like it too. The world by invitation is a truly grand thing ladies. My two cents and the best to you all.

July 26, 2012 - 11:59pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.