7 Ways You Can Avoid Getting Stressed Out Over the Holidays

The holiday season can be like a magnifying glass for stress of all kinds. Everything can be more intense. Nostalgic memories can fill your heart, and break it as well.

It's natural to want to recreate the happy times, just as it's natural to be overwhelmed at times with reminders of loss, and frustration and stress.

You are not alone. Fortunately, there are things you can do to ease the pressure and mellow out the highs and lows that flourish this time of year.

1) Talk about how you feel.

Don't fall for the idea that only happy thoughts are allowed during the holiday season. If you have a friend you can talk to, don't hold back. Chances are your friend is dealing with their own stress, and might jump at the chance to get down and get real.

Venting in and of itself can be a relief. And sometimes you may be pleasantly surprised to find that possible solutions to gnarly problems arise in conversation. Either way, talking can lighten a heavy heart.

2) Lower your sky-high expectations.

Are you obsessed about laying out the perfect meal? Are the holidays incomplete if you don't make dozens of cookies from scratch? Do you freak out when the lights aren't just so? Is it impossible for you to say no to something you really don't want to go to?

Imperfect people don't tend to pull off perfect parties, dinners, decorations, or families. And we are all — yes, all! — imperfect. So expecting perfection is only setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.

But people who accept that they and everyone around them are imperfect are more likely to enjoy the holidays. Didn't get the silver polished? No problem. Drinking hot chocolate or wine out of disposable cups? It's the contents that matter, not the delivery system.

Did your partner forget to pick up the flowers that match the decor? The kids aren't wearing the holiday clothes you had your heart set on? If they're wearing smiles, that's the most important accessory.

3) Decide on the goal.

If what you have your heart set on is to create warm family memories, to strengthen relationships and to be kind and generous to people you care for, act accordingly. You don't have to win an argument, or prove a point.

It's OK to walk away from a potentially explosive situation. It's even OK to avoid the situation entirely and do something else that you'll enjoy instead. Two of the most precious words in the English language: "Gotta go."

4) Cancel the family fireworks.

Some families love getting together. Some don't do so well in close quarters. By now, you know which camp your family falls into.

If yours is a clan that is warm and loving with each other, lean back and bask in it as long as the get-together lasts. But if you tense up as soon as you walk in the door ... if zingers fly at little or no provocation ... if tempers flare and tears fall before dessert is served ... A holiday dinner is not the best time to confront family issues.

You're not going to change anybody or solve anything by wading into the fray.Use your mouth to taste the delicious food, and paint a smile on it, and skip the family drama.

5) Come from a different angle.

Remind yourself that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is crazy.

Maybe holiday gatherings of past years have been bad. And maybe all signs indicate that this year's is going to be more of the same. But then again, maybe not.

You may not be able to do anything about the people who bring friction with their pumpkin pie. But you are the pilot of your own reactions. Zig when you would traditionally have zagged. And see if you get a different result.

6) Plan, plan, plan.

Even if you chafe at the idea of schedules and value your status as a free spirit, sometimes it's a good idea to look ahead in a way that makes sure you will have enough time to do everything you want to get done.

Do you want to make cookies? Go caroling? Throw a holiday brunch? Spend an evening watching old movies? Look at a calendar and start filling it in. This way you can make more of your own choices rather than trying to squeeze everything in, or have to drop some things, as the time slowly — or quickly — fills up.

7) Get some rest.

Don't let the busyness of the holiday season get to you. Don't let it ride you till you drop. That calendar should also have times marked off for a nap, reading a book, going for a walk, listening to music. This isn't time wasted. It's what is going to get you through the holiday marathon in one piece.

Read more:

Healthy Lifestyle: Stress management
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/s...

How's this for a second source? Home for the Holidays: Tips for Stress
http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/features/home-for-the-hol...

Visit Jody's website at http://www.ncubator.ca

Reviewed November 17, 2015
by Michele Blacksberg RN

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Tags:

• Stress
• Relationships & Family