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Gandhi once said: "Be the change you want to see in the world."
You can read this in biographies about him, see it in the epic movie about his life or buy a refrigerator magnet that says this and stick it in your kitchen.
But how easy is this to implement? Assuming that people who constantly complain about what is wrong with everything really do want to see things change, is there something more they might be doing to create change in their lives or in the world?
Many times we project what is going on with us onto others. Never is this more apparent than it is in the hothouse of family life, when getting along with our loved ones is sometimes so challenging that we'd rather just tune out, leave the house, numb ourselves or check out with hours of gaming or television rather than deal with them. If we're getting along and everyone in our home feels their needs are being met, it's sometimes so sweet, it's like a mini-miracle.
To be the change you want to see in the world is so challenging it may be that many of us just give up and try to survive the world as best we can. But some ideas for happiness include giving more than you ever thought possible, to step outside of your comfort zone and become someone you'd want to run to during hard times.
One of my favorite meditations is something I taught myself to do during a period of very dark depression. I close my eyes, deepen my breathing, and picture a twin of myself. I make that twin everything I am currently not; centered, calm, confident, happy, wise, etc - whatever it is in that moment. I then let my not-so-righteous self tell my better self every single little problem, every fear, every worry, and let that better self comfort me in exactly the way that I really need.
It's incredibly healing and, over time, I've tried to incorporate this into my daily life. That is, during times I'd really like to complain, whine, suffer and feel terrible for or about myself, I try to tune into what I would be like if I were the person who was trying to solve the problem, trying to be helpful to others, working hard, being focused and centered and mature, handling things with wisdom and grace, intelligence and fairness.
It is so difficult but it keeps me, often, from complaining too much or sinking into despair. After all, if we spill Chinese food all over the carpet, do we wait for it to sink in and smell, rotting and mouldering there, or do we immediately get a sponge and get down on our hands and knees and start to clean it up?
Life can be like this too; there really is no one else to clean up our messes. Social activism, finances, parenting, relationships all require our belief that we can make a difference and that in fact it is our responsibility to make a difference. Waiting for "someone else" to raise our children, green up our planet, hand us money or wash our dishes is a way of staying in a victim's role that adds nothing but negative energy to our experience here on Earth.
For more on the philosophy of Gandhi, click here: http://www.mkgandhi.org/
Aimee Boyle works hard not to whine, complain or kvetch too much. She is a regular contributor to EmpowHER.
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