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Speaking My Truth

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The next few columns will be about speaking my truth and what that means to me in my life.

Until I started speaking my truth I never understood what people meant when they said “the truth will set you free”. Now I understand that speaking the truth means that I remain present to “the exact nature of my wrongs”. (That’s from step 5 of the 12 steps: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.) I interpret this to mean that I never let myself forget where I’ve come from and what I’ve done. This does NOT mean that I spend all my time beating myself up over the mistakes I’ve made. Instead, I use my mistakes to empower myself and those I admit them to.

Here’s how that works. Now, understand that this isn’t a conversation I have with a bank teller or the checkout girl at the grocery store. It is how I meet people I expect to have a relationship with, say a new coworker.

Here’s how it goes:

New coworker: “So, where are you from?”

Me: “I’m originally from Kansas City, but I’ve been in Arizona for a long time.”

New coworker: “What brought you here?”

Me: “Well, before I moved to up to the Phoenix area, my ex-husband and I were in Tucson at Amity, a rehab program. I’m a recovering addict.”

This really comes in handy when someone offers me a drink.

It may surprise you to learn that very rarely does anyone gasp and reject me because I’ve admitted I was once an addict. Instead, almost everyone identifies with me. So many people know someone struggling with addiction these days, maybe even themselves. In fact, more often than not my revelation creates an opportunity for my new friend to ask me for some insight into their own struggles.

It’s amazing how wonderful it feels when I can use my past mistakes to make the world a better place for someone else.

Add a Comment4 Comments


Speaking our truths is not an easy thing to do, whether they are truths about large, profound things, such as yours, or smaller things, such as how we are feeling or what we think about something. So often we couch what we are thinking in nicer words or more acceptable circumstances, just because it's easier to do. Your post reminds me that stopping for a second to think of our "real" truths and letting them become part of our regular dialogue has a cleansing effect as well. Thank you, and like Susan, I, too, look forward to reading more from you!

December 14, 2009 - 7:28am
(reply to Diane Porter)

Hello Diane,
Thank you for comment & for taking the time to read my article. Your insight is greatly appreciated. I am so grateful to be part of this website & for the opportunity to be able to reach out to so many women. I wish you & your family a happy & blessed holiday season. Monica :-)

December 16, 2009 - 12:18am
HERWriter Guide



I cannot imagine rejecting anyone for being in recovery! I think we all addicted to something or other - men, shopping, eating, porn, drinking, attention, our looks, drugs, TV, gossip...you name it. So people in glass houses and all that...

We all make mistakes, but it's a powerful person who makes the effort not to repeat them and to help others before they make similar mistakes.

I look forward to hearing more from you!

December 11, 2009 - 12:13pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

Hello Susan,
Thank you so much for your interest & comments. I appreciate you taking time to read my articles. I totally agree with you. To some degree we are all addicted to something or other! I love this website. Women connecting with women. Thanks again & I wish you & your family a truly blessed & happy holiday! Monica :-)

December 16, 2009 - 12:32am
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.


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