It’s the subject everyone wonders about but no one wants to ask the questions. So the answer is, yes. Yes, you can have sex even if you have/had cancer. The myth that cancer kills your sex life is largely, as most things sexual, all in your head.
Okay, I’ll admit that after multiple abdominal surgeries and a breast lumpectomy, I often feel more like a Jeep than a Jaguar, but I guess that my husband and I enjoy sex as frequently as most people our ages.
A few suggestions for those dealing with medical challenges:
1. Be Creative – Don’t be afraid to try new ways to please each other or yourself. Sex is good for you, makes you feel better and strengthens your relationship with your partner.
2. Communicate – Help your partner know what’s hot and what’s not. Forget being coy. Your partner is probably apprehensive, afraid to hurt you, unsure how to proceed. Talk about it.
3. A little planning is a good thing. Make the mood right, take a bath to relax, throw the pets outside and surrender to the moment. Let what happens, happen.
4. Lighten up – It’s supposed to be fun, remember? If at first you don’t succeed . . . well, you know.
Sometimes women feel less sexy because of physical changes brought on by surgeries or treatments. Usually this is because we still have a vision in our minds of how our bodies used to look (and feel). My advice is to create a new reality for yourself, one that embraces the metamorphosis your body has experienced as it healed and revived and survived.
And if you’re lucky enough to have a loving and supportive partner, you’ll find that discovering ways to enjoy your new ‘car’ can be an exciting and fulfilling experience.
Ladies, rev your engines!