Facebook Pixel

Annette Mattern: Sex and Cancer . . . Really.

By HERWriter
Rate This

It’s the subject everyone wonders about but no one wants to ask the questions. So the answer is, yes. Yes, you can have sex even if you have/had cancer. The myth that cancer kills your sex life is largely, as most things sexual, all in your head.

Okay, I’ll admit that after multiple abdominal surgeries and a breast lumpectomy, I often feel more like a Jeep than a Jaguar, but I guess that my husband and I enjoy sex as frequently as most people our ages.

A few suggestions for those dealing with medical challenges:

1. Be Creative – Don’t be afraid to try new ways to please each other or yourself. Sex is good for you, makes you feel better and strengthens your relationship with your partner.

2. Communicate – Help your partner know what’s hot and what’s not. Forget being coy. Your partner is probably apprehensive, afraid to hurt you, unsure how to proceed. Talk about it.

3. A little planning is a good thing. Make the mood right, take a bath to relax, throw the pets outside and surrender to the moment. Let what happens, happen.

4. Lighten up – It’s supposed to be fun, remember? If at first you don’t succeed . . . well, you know.

Sometimes women feel less sexy because of physical changes brought on by surgeries or treatments. Usually this is because we still have a vision in our minds of how our bodies used to look (and feel). My advice is to create a new reality for yourself, one that embraces the metamorphosis your body has experienced as it healed and revived and survived.

And if you’re lucky enough to have a loving and supportive partner, you’ll find that discovering ways to enjoy your new ‘car’ can be an exciting and fulfilling experience.

Ladies, rev your engines!

Add a CommentComments

There are no comments yet. Be the first one and get the conversation started!

Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy

We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

Breast Cancer

Get Email Updates

Related Checklists

Breast Cancer Guide


Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!