Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: 10 Things I Had Forgotten
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I've lived with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in one form or another for almost 20 years. I have had times when I was completely non-functional. I couldn't think a complete thought. I couldn't walk down the hall. I couldn't count my money or write a grocery list.
Listening to anyone talk would put me to bed, vibrating and with a kaleidoscope brain. I was a vegetable, with no grasp of what was going on around me, or who I was back when I was still me.
But I have been recovering from the worst of CFS for the past four years and the more I recover, the better my body and brain work and the more I remember about me, about who I was. The old me, the pre-CFS me.
Here are some of the things that I'd forgotten for years at a time because of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
1. I had forgotten what it was like to get in the car and drive to the grocery store.
When I was leaden and seasick, I could no more go to the grocery store than fly to the moon. Could not drive. Could not steer a shopping cart. Could not choose things from a shelf. Could not handle money or speak to the clerk.
2. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed chatting with the lady at the library.
At my worst, I could not navigate through the doors of the library. I couldn't read the titles without feeling like I might collapse. My arms and hands were too sore to carry books.
The library is a dozen blocks from my house. Might as well have been across a chasm. A chasm blasted by the dynamite of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
3.I had forgotten what it was like to go to the bank and do my own banking.
When I couldn't keep numbers in my head, and couldn't count I was fortunate to have a husband who was willing to do everything for me. The tellers might as well have been speaking a foreign language. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome garbled and distorted everything I heard.
4. I had forgotten how nice it is to dress up just for the heck of it.
I lived in an old housecoat for months at a time. Eventually I graduated to "real" clothes, but I kept it basic for a long time.
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Add a Comment2 Comments
i actually cried as i read through your "10 things i had forgotten". i'm still walking in the fog - 30 years and counting - getting foggier. just started my own homeopathic journey - i have hope. your article increased that hope. thank you!
October 26, 2011 - 9:22amThis Comment
I'm sorry to hear how long this has been going on for you. You are strong to have persevered in the face of this all this time.
I hope your homeopathic journey takes you in an entirely new direction. Don't let go of the hope. It will help bring you through.
Thank you for sharing this.
Jody
October 26, 2011 - 9:41am