One of my dearest friends had gastric bypass surgery four or five years ago. She had tried numerous ways to lose weight, and was not able to budge the scale more than a few pounds. Her weight was a constant emotional issue for her. And she was always dealing with the physical challenges obesity brings.
She underwent counseling, and a surgery day was scheduled. She took off work that week. The days right afterward were a tiny slice of hell -- recovery, pain, and a liquid diet. She wondered if she'd done the right thing.
She didn't tell people for a while. She was afraid of what they'd think. As she lost more and more weight, quickly, it became sort of obvious, so she had to "confess" what she'd done. And I use the word confess because that's how she felt. People in the office were talking behind her back! It was insane. There seems to be a particularly mean kind of gossip that swirls around people's personal choices regarding their weight, wouldn't you agree?
She lost more than 100 pounds and has kept it off. She eats well and has become a bit of a gym rat. But she also knows, even all these years later, that people still watch her to see if she'll gain the weight back.
Some people would say she "took the easy way out." I'm here to tell you that the opposite is true. It's a tough surgery with a lot of difficult work that follows. The first couple of months especially, as you are recovering and then relearning how to eat (and how much you cannot eat) was particularly hard for my friend. But years later, I can tell that for her, it was the absolute best choice.
I'm wondering if this is the experience others have had. Why are we so interested in what others are doing about their weight, and why do we feel we have the right to have an opinion about it? Does the fact that someone is shrinking before our eyes merit our comment? Or should we ignore it if they have chosen to? And why do some people almost hope that others will fail in their efforts?
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I certainly agree with the above comments as well. I had a friend that recently had the surgery and was well over his weight class. There is a large lifestyle change that included his ability to eat and of course massive amounts of weight loss very fast. It has been several months now and he already has massive amounts of skin that starting to droop (for a lack of a better word).
I understand that weight loss is certainly beneficial but without taking the weight off in increments and letting your body readjust itself, without additional surgery, I don't see that his skin will be the same. I guess only time will tell.
August 23, 2009 - 10:47amThis Comment
Diane, I'm proud of your friend for taking the initiative and taking control of her health.(Guess I feel I have an opinion in this) I believe that there are people who despite calorie deprivation, exercise and essentially following all of the rules, find they can't lose weight. And she should be proud that she made this option work for her.
I think we find the weight loss and gains of others fascinating because in others we see ourselves. It seems to be human nature to use others as a barometer to measure our own successes and failures. Other people can inspire us and maybe give us examples of what not to do. Why the fascination with weight in particular? It seems to be the most immediate identifying factor for people. And unfortunately, Schadenfreude also seems to be human nature. Perhaps we enjoy the failure of others because in our minds, it allows us a little slack.
And if someone has said they are on a diet, I think it's fine to talk with the other person about weight. If a friend or family member has lost weight but hasn't said anything, I may make an encouraging comment, but also keep in mind that weight loss could be the result of an unwanted health condition or issue. I think it just depends on the person.
August 21, 2009 - 9:54amThis Comment