ask: Girlfriend has Type 1 Genital herpes, what can/can't we do?

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My girlfriend has told me (before we started having sex) that she has type 1 herpes but that it can't be spread from kissing. So this leads me to believe that it is a genital version of the infection. Can the infection spread to me if I give her oral sex? Could the infection spread if she gave me oral sex? I want to believe that it wouldn't, because she told me it doesn't spread from kissing. And could the infection spread through anal sex? Thanks for the help!!

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EmpowHER Guest

Wow !!!! Tell you what I think?????? This is what I think... for someone who has worked in sexual health I think that (Miss Cortes and Susan) Leadership phd and resercher into health issues... commendable even alturistic, but DANGEROUS!!! "I am sorry that you are dealing with Genital Herpes???" Yes and so are they.. are you? I am sorry to come across so strong but I hardly think your qualifications qualify you to give advice on this subject, either of you. You cannot say that noticable bumps are not common with a yeast infection therefore perhaps this was misdiagnosed as this could be indicative of a dual diagnosis.. in other words they may indeed have a yeast infection and something else going on. Whilst I do take issue with the both of you and other Empowered women on here regurgitating research from some website or other I am absolutely astounded by how many people are placing their sexual health in your hands... wake up people THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE!!!!! Get checked out , even get a second opinion but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not rely on peer feedbck for a diagnosis... it could be the worst mistake of your life.. some STD'S present with mimicking symptoms others with none.. all we know is that the main sympoms are marely a guideline. I wish you all the best, as I say I think it is alturistic and nice to want to help people in this way but I really don't think if you are not qualified.. or worse still do not have or have never had to deal with this issues ,that you hould be dishing out advice on herpes or STDS. Just my 10 cents.

December 20, 2012 - 11:58am
EmpowHER Guest

I am sorry to hear you have genital herpes anonymous... so do I... but I have to ask.. are the people posting information on these sights experts???? First of all.. CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING PREGNANT AND NO YOU DON'T NEED A C SECTION!!!!! A friend of mine has been diagnosed and has had two natural births. She and her partner now husband looked into it of course and all the options before going ahead and you can be given a course of treatent a few months before you go into labour so long as they are aware of your medical condition the consultants can deal with it.
Of course there is STILL no cure for herpes but it is this kind of inflamatory mis information that really annoys the heck out of me.. not to mention the fact that people are mis informing others who are desperate and need the correct info.
I am not saying take my work for it.. but treatments , syptoms and relief are all different for different people and no two outbreaks are the same.
My first outbreak was so awful I thought I was going to die... I have NEVER had an outbreak since, a friend of mine however not so lucky, her period brings it on and every month is an absolute nightmare.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE for the love of God stay off of these forums. The internet is and tool which can be used either way and there are people out there who do not know what they are talking about that suddenly turn into medical experts over night.
Good luck with your pregnancy and your birth but there is no substitute for GOOD medical health advice.. so seek it... but not on here or any other sight.
Approach the Herpes assoc .. Herpes uk if you must BUT FIRST OF ALL A REPUTABLE MEDICAL PRACTITIONER. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!

December 20, 2012 - 11:45am
EmpowHER Guest

My girlfriend has herpes but she gets a sore in her right thigh can I get it by kissing , oral or sex?

December 15, 2012 - 1:13pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon!

Yes, it's possible for it to be transmitted that way. Use a condom and never have oral sex if she has an outbreak.


December 18, 2012 - 2:39pm
EmpowHER Guest

ok i have tons of questions about the whole thing, i was just diagnosed about a week ago (type 1, in the genitals), but it is what i know now to be my second outbreak, i am 8 months pregnant, and so confused. i am married, we have been together for a year now. the person i got it from i was not with very long and we used protection and i did not have oral sex with him, i have learned that condoms don't always protect against this virus. i am still trying to learn all that i can and other than my husband have no one to turn to for help, i confided in my mother only to be knocked down, she thinks i am going to give it to her i guess, she cleans her bathroom every time i use it. i have kinda stopped talking to her about it all, i just would like to know my risks, i have been with my husband for over a year and just found out i have had the virus of over a year and half. my husband has had no signs of the virus but i know that u don't always have to.
i guess my question is is there any point in protecting ourselfs from one another?
and as far as me being pregnant would it be smarter for me to opt for the c section no matter what?
i don't see the risk as being worth it. but i don't know much about the virus, just the things i have read and what my doc has told me. im just trying to get all the info i can to make the best informed decisions i can, i never dreamed of having to deal with anything like this in my whole life, i tried to be safe and not sleep around, so this came as a big surprise to me, so just trying to deal with it now....
thanks for ur time JM

November 8, 2012 - 12:20pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)


Thanks for your post and I'm sorry you're dealing with genital herpes.

Firstly, if you have an outbreak close to your due date or as you are in labor, you may indeed have to have a c-section - to protect the baby - you don't want to have him or her with this diagnosis at birth. I'm sure your doctors are aware of your condition.

You will have to live with herpes since there is no cure (yet). You can take a medication every day to prevent outbreaks or as soon as you feel an outbreak happen. The first year after an outbreak is generally the worst (you can get lots of painful outbreaks) but after a year the outbreaks become less common, especially if an anti-viral medication is used - you need to talk to your doctor about that.

If you do a quick google search, you can find lots of online support groups and you have exposed your current partner to it so he need to take care of himself too and look for signs of an outbreak.

Herpes is very common and many live wonderful live with it. Keeping your immune system strong is very important so eat well, exercise and take medications that help to stop outbreaks. With another year, you may have no more outbreaks or just one every couple of years.

Good luck and we hope you have a happy and healthy baby soon!


November 13, 2012 - 1:30pm
EmpowHER Guest

I have a question about herpes as well! Unfortunately, I gave my girlfriend genital herpes during oral sex. I get cold sores every now and then, but we always wait for them to pass before we become intimate again. Her doctor put her on valtrex and her first outbreak is over. She said it was due to viral shedding when I wasn't showing any signs and we didn't know. I feel so guilty, but I still want to keep her happy and satisfied. My question is if we both have the same strand but mine being oral and hers genital, would I be able to continue performing oral sex on her when neither of us are showing. Would it make it worse or have any effect at all? Would I be able to use my fingers? Obviously, we would use protection for regular sex. I just don't know what else to do.

November 4, 2012 - 2:40pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

if u think ur doctors arent much help go to sexual health clinic they know tons more about it and seem to be a lot more sympathetic than any doctor ive seen regarding this issue :-)

November 21, 2012 - 12:51am

Hello, I am very confused about the transmission of HSV1. I gave my girlfriend genital HSV1 by giving her oral sex while having a cold sore on my mouth. I didn't know type 1 could be contracted in the genitals but we soon found out the contrary. We are 100% sure I was the one who gave it to her. I have experienced oral HSV1 symptoms for over 7 years. Is it possible for me to contract the same virus I gave my girlfriend on my genitals by having unprotected sex? One source said it is not possible because of the antibodies I have developed against HSV1, how accurate is this? (this is the publication question 12 specifically. Any insight will help but I would love a definitive answer before we start having unprotected sex again. Thank you.

October 8, 2012 - 11:19pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for your question. It is not common to have noticeable "bumps" with a yeast infection so the possible missed diagnosis on your prior visit could have been wrong. Yeast infections are usually just sore, itchy and cause discomfort. Bumps are generally associated with herpes.


There are instances that you can come in contact with someone who has herpes and not contract the STD however, in most cases if that infected person has a breakout, then this is the main way that herpes is passed on to the next person. This may be why the others involved are not coming up positive or in reality, they could be lying too.

If you have concerns about a possible misdiagnosis, you will have to wait for another breakout and go back to your doctor or get a second opinion. We cannot diagnose you on here as with herpes, you must have visual inspection and tests ran on the bumps in order to fully understand the diagnosis.

I hope this helps.


October 7, 2012 - 7:51am
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