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Dear Concerned Male

Thanks for your question and welcome. It's good that you're looking out for your own health!

We have an excellent Genital Herpes page, and here is an extract that answers many of your questions :

"Genital herpes is caused by the herpes simplex virus type 1 or type 2. The virus enters the body through a break in the skin or through mucous membranes. After the first outbreak, the virus migrates to nerve endings at the base of the spine, and lies dormant until the next outbreak.

The virus is spread through:

Sexual contact, including intercourse, oral sex, and anal sex
Fluid from herpes blisters that gets on other parts of the body
An infected mother passing it on to her child during pregnancy or childbirth

The virus is most contagious when blisters are present. It is also contagious during the "shedding" stage, before blisters or sores are visible. The virus may also spread when inactive between visible outbreaks.

Risk Factors
The strongest risk factor for getting genital herpes is having unprotected sex with an infected partner. Once herpes simplex is in the body, other risk factors can trigger the blisters to form. These can include:

Fever
Illness or infection
Stress
Weakened immune system
Menstruation
Long periods of exposure to sunlight

Often, the cause of an outbreak is unknown.

Symptoms
Symptoms depend on whether this is your first (primary) episode or a recurrent episode. The virus remains dormant between outbreaks. During this time, you may not have visible symptoms, but you may still be shedding the virus. This means the virus can be spread during sex.

The number of outbreaks varies. Most people have an outbreak at least once per year.

Primary Infection
This is when you are first exposed to the virus. You may not have any symptoms, or you may feel like you have the flu (eg, fever, muscle aches). The blisters may be in the genital area or other areas, like the mouth, lips, or tongue. The size and number of ulcers are usually larger during this first time. It takes about two weeks for the primary infection to resolve. If you get another infection, though, it may take up to six weeks for the blisters to go away.

Recurrent Infection
This happens when the virus reactivates in your body. How severe the virus is, how long it lasts, and how much is shed all vary. In most cases, these infections are shorter (3-7 days) with smaller and fewer ulcers. Symptoms are usually around the blister or ulcer area. Remember that you can still spread the virus even if you don't have any symptoms."

We have lots more information on genital herpes, including treatment options. You can read more about it here : http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/genital-herpes#definition

If you perform oral sex on her, kiss her and she performs oral sex on you, the virus can transfer so technically yes, you can get if from kissing, in that sense. But herpes of the mouth (commonly known as Type 1 or cold sores/fever blisters) is the same family as Type 2 (genital) but a different strain. Type 1 (cold sores) can transfer to the genitals. So if a person has a cold sore, and performs oral sex on a person, she can give them the virus in the genital region.

Let us know if we can help you further. Use condoms every single time you have sex (and bear in mind you are still risking infection, even with condoms) and avoid any sexual activity if she has an outbreak.

Is she taking any kind of medication for her herpes, like Valtrex, do you know?

Thanks for the help. I am unsure if she is taking any sort of medications but will ask about that. What would that change if she was on something like Valtrex because, if she's not maybe I can suggest that. She said shes never had a break out in the mouth but says that it was diagnosed as type 1 non the less, just in the vaginal region. Would that mean that it wouldn't spread from oral sex, let's say just one way, in a particular setting?

Hi Concerned Male,

Valtrex is an antiviral medication that helps decrease the incidence and severity of outbreaks in people who have herpes. It would not decrease the likelihood of spreading the disease through sexual contact. If she has herpes type 1 in her vaginal area then any body part of yours that contacts her vaginal region would be susceptible to contracting the virus. So yes, if you gave her oral sex, you would risk getting the virus on your mouth. If she doesn't have the virus on her mouth and has NEVER had an outbreak there, she would not be passing the virus to you from her mouth, only her vaginal region.

Hope that helps and you get the information you are looking for.