ask: Girlfriend has Type 1 Genital herpes, what can/can't we do?

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My girlfriend has told me (before we started having sex) that she has type 1 herpes but that it can't be spread from kissing. So this leads me to believe that it is a genital version of the infection. Can the infection spread to me if I give her oral sex? Could the infection spread if she gave me oral sex? I want to believe that it wouldn't, because she told me it doesn't spread from kissing. And could the infection spread through anal sex? Thanks for the help!!

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EmpowHER Guest

My girlfriend has herpes but she gets a sore in her right thigh can I get it by kissing , oral or sex?

December 15, 2012 - 1:13pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon!

Yes, it's possible for it to be transmitted that way. Use a condom and never have oral sex if she has an outbreak.


December 18, 2012 - 2:39pm
EmpowHER Guest

ok i have tons of questions about the whole thing, i was just diagnosed about a week ago (type 1, in the genitals), but it is what i know now to be my second outbreak, i am 8 months pregnant, and so confused. i am married, we have been together for a year now. the person i got it from i was not with very long and we used protection and i did not have oral sex with him, i have learned that condoms don't always protect against this virus. i am still trying to learn all that i can and other than my husband have no one to turn to for help, i confided in my mother only to be knocked down, she thinks i am going to give it to her i guess, she cleans her bathroom every time i use it. i have kinda stopped talking to her about it all, i just would like to know my risks, i have been with my husband for over a year and just found out i have had the virus of over a year and half. my husband has had no signs of the virus but i know that u don't always have to.
i guess my question is is there any point in protecting ourselfs from one another?
and as far as me being pregnant would it be smarter for me to opt for the c section no matter what?
i don't see the risk as being worth it. but i don't know much about the virus, just the things i have read and what my doc has told me. im just trying to get all the info i can to make the best informed decisions i can, i never dreamed of having to deal with anything like this in my whole life, i tried to be safe and not sleep around, so this came as a big surprise to me, so just trying to deal with it now....
thanks for ur time JM

November 8, 2012 - 12:20pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)


Thanks for your post and I'm sorry you're dealing with genital herpes.

Firstly, if you have an outbreak close to your due date or as you are in labor, you may indeed have to have a c-section - to protect the baby - you don't want to have him or her with this diagnosis at birth. I'm sure your doctors are aware of your condition.

You will have to live with herpes since there is no cure (yet). You can take a medication every day to prevent outbreaks or as soon as you feel an outbreak happen. The first year after an outbreak is generally the worst (you can get lots of painful outbreaks) but after a year the outbreaks become less common, especially if an anti-viral medication is used - you need to talk to your doctor about that.

If you do a quick google search, you can find lots of online support groups and you have exposed your current partner to it so he need to take care of himself too and look for signs of an outbreak.

Herpes is very common and many live wonderful live with it. Keeping your immune system strong is very important so eat well, exercise and take medications that help to stop outbreaks. With another year, you may have no more outbreaks or just one every couple of years.

Good luck and we hope you have a happy and healthy baby soon!


November 13, 2012 - 1:30pm
EmpowHER Guest

I have a question about herpes as well! Unfortunately, I gave my girlfriend genital herpes during oral sex. I get cold sores every now and then, but we always wait for them to pass before we become intimate again. Her doctor put her on valtrex and her first outbreak is over. She said it was due to viral shedding when I wasn't showing any signs and we didn't know. I feel so guilty, but I still want to keep her happy and satisfied. My question is if we both have the same strand but mine being oral and hers genital, would I be able to continue performing oral sex on her when neither of us are showing. Would it make it worse or have any effect at all? Would I be able to use my fingers? Obviously, we would use protection for regular sex. I just don't know what else to do.

November 4, 2012 - 2:40pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

if u think ur doctors arent much help go to sexual health clinic they know tons more about it and seem to be a lot more sympathetic than any doctor ive seen regarding this issue :-)

November 21, 2012 - 12:51am

Hello, I am very confused about the transmission of HSV1. I gave my girlfriend genital HSV1 by giving her oral sex while having a cold sore on my mouth. I didn't know type 1 could be contracted in the genitals but we soon found out the contrary. We are 100% sure I was the one who gave it to her. I have experienced oral HSV1 symptoms for over 7 years. Is it possible for me to contract the same virus I gave my girlfriend on my genitals by having unprotected sex? One source said it is not possible because of the antibodies I have developed against HSV1, how accurate is this? (this is the publication question 12 specifically. Any insight will help but I would love a definitive answer before we start having unprotected sex again. Thank you.

October 8, 2012 - 11:19pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for your question. It is not common to have noticeable "bumps" with a yeast infection so the possible missed diagnosis on your prior visit could have been wrong. Yeast infections are usually just sore, itchy and cause discomfort. Bumps are generally associated with herpes.


There are instances that you can come in contact with someone who has herpes and not contract the STD however, in most cases if that infected person has a breakout, then this is the main way that herpes is passed on to the next person. This may be why the others involved are not coming up positive or in reality, they could be lying too.

If you have concerns about a possible misdiagnosis, you will have to wait for another breakout and go back to your doctor or get a second opinion. We cannot diagnose you on here as with herpes, you must have visual inspection and tests ran on the bumps in order to fully understand the diagnosis.

I hope this helps.


October 7, 2012 - 7:51am
EmpowHER Guest

Ohhhh geeeee, I need answers. About three months ago I started messing around with my third partner. He had a girlfriend and all but they were at the time off and on alot soooo I wouldn't say I was cheating with him. But anyways I had performed oral sex on him two times before the time I had a sore throat (which I got after my third time). It was horrible, like I had pulled a muscle and it was a bit scratchy. I just thought it came from deep throating him being that he was pretty huge. After about two weeks the sore throat went away. Me and him continued to have sex at this time. We had sex one time before the time I got really irriated. Sex was a bit painful this time, i wasn't fully in the mood or at wet as I should had been. The condom we happened to be using was one that in the past gave me bad yeast infections. & of course after two days I was a bit irriated down south. Some days went by and I kept seeing more and more symptoms of an yeast infection. Normally with me when I get an yeast infection I tend to breakout with sores as well. It isn't very common for people but I'm that lucky percent I guess. I didnt pay the bumps much mind (being that I had had this before and when i got them tested it was herpes in the past!) and went and got tested. All of the sores looked the same and felt the same none felt no different. She swabbed all of the sores (Had three) and had them to go off and get tested. She came back and told me that I had an yeast infection and that my herpes results would be in in three days. I took the pill she gave me for the yeast infection and ALL the bumps started clearing up. After three days she called me back and told me I had herpes type 1. I didnt understand because I had been tested after my second partner back in May. Me and my third partner started messing around at the end of July. I got tested in August. I've never had a cold sore and yes I've had bumps before present in the past with yeast infections only. I had my two previous partners get tested and they came back negative. The guy I believe that gave it to me ex girlfriend also got tested around the same time as me and her results came back negative for everything. I guess the question I'm trying to ask is is it possible for me not to have herpes 1? Never had any sores in my mouth and neither has my partner or his ex. Could I had been misdiagnosed and could it had been a yeast infection instead of this. Because everyone is showing up negative but me. I'm sooo stressed and confused.

October 6, 2012 - 5:42pm
EmpowHER Guest

my girlfriend has Genital herpes but not the oral kind if she gives me oral sex can she give me herpes ?

September 25, 2012 - 11:24pm
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