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hello ma'am my question is this that my marriage is on 26 Nov2014.n I m not virgin so plz help me out for hiding this pro.with my husband I m very afraid n. very tensed plz help me out plz plz

By Anonymous October 26, 2014 - 11:19pm
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I don't remember but I think i had last sex on august 2014 plz help me out plz plz plz ma'am urgent plz I don't have enough time plz suggest me

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EmpowHER Guest

Actually that man cheated me n my marriage has fixed on september only thats why I cant stop marriage

October 27, 2014 - 9:53am
EmpowHER Guest

I have pressure of my parents n if anything will held wrong my parents are unable to see that so plz suggest something so that I can clear my stage

October 27, 2014 - 7:03am
EmpowHER Guest

But I can't leave this marriage plz suggest me something so that I can clear this stage plz maam

October 27, 2014 - 6:58am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

I don't know what you mean by "clear this stage". 

There is nothing you can physically do unless you are considering a procedure called hymen restoration. This restores the hymen and can give the impression of virginity.  It's an surgical procedure. 

Other than that, I don't think there are more options. I don't understand if you knew this was going to be a huge issue, why were you still having sex with another man up to a couple of months ago? Are you in love with him? If so, you have to find a way to be with him. 

I know that women in some countries can be beaten or even killed for having sex before marriage. Are you living in the West - in Europe or North America? If so, you can seek shelter in a safe place for women. 

You need to stop focusing on pretending to be a virgin and find a way to stop your marriage. 


October 27, 2014 - 9:01am
HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thank you for your question! 

You must be living in a culture where female, rather than male, virginity is required for marriage. 

As we have said many times, there is no test for virginity so if you don't bleed on your wedding night, this is not a sign of not being a virgin. Some cultures who are not educated in sexual health or believe women are second class citizens try to enforce these rules but they have no place in reality or fact. 

Can you not be honest with your husband? You are having sex with another man so you are clearly not ready for marriage to another. Are you being forced into this marriage? Can you get out of this? You have human rights and can't be forced to marry. 

Physically, you can't fake virginity no more than you can fake that you have had sex before so you are wanting something that is impossible. 

I'm sorry we cannot help you with this issue but get out of this marriage if you can. 



October 27, 2014 - 5:48am
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