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How do i tell my partner that i have HPV?

By August 30, 2010 - 9:58pm
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Although everything is going well now!! I've only had 1 partner, and fear of never being able 2 have kids. I want 2 know how 2 share this important information.

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I'm a little confused...are you wanting to tell your partner that you have been diagnosed with HPV, and what this means to your sexual relationship, or, are you wanting to tell your partner that you may not be able to have children?

What type of HPV were you diagnosed with, and are you currently using any type of treatment?

Does your partner know you've had a sexual partner prior to this relationship?

August 31, 2010 - 2:04pm
(reply to Alison Beaver)

I want 2 tell him that I have been diagnosed with HPV, which I've already had treatment 4!!! I just fear sharing this information and not knowing how things is going 2 turn out!! I was never told I wouldn't be able 2 have kids! Its just that I've never been pregnant and I don't know if my partner will except me!!!

August 31, 2010 - 10:29pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to muwhite)

Hi muwhite

Thanks for your update!

I gather your new relationship is only the second man you have been with sexually?

The odds are that your boyfriend has been exposed to HPV beforehand if he was not a virgin when he met you, although no-one can be sure of it. However, if he has had partners before you, he likely has it too, or had sex with someone who had it. Condoms do help a lot with HPV - do you know if he has been 100% consistent with using them?

With regard to your situation - ideally you should have told him this before you ever had sex with him, and allowed him to make the decision to continue a relationship with you. But now you should definitely tell him.

How to broach it? Well, that depends on his personality. You know him best so pick a good time for both of you to have a talk and get to the point quickly. Tell him the other man you have slept with exposed you to this virus and that you have had it treated. This means you still have it, but it's dormant. And it's really up to him how he deals with it. He may be angry that you didn't tell him before or he may be ok.

I don't want to make light of this situation. HPV kills many women every year and also causes cancers in men (penile cancer for example although it's not a common cancer) and also causes anal, head, face, oral and neck cancers.

But the vast majority of sexually active people have been exposed to it and the majority are healthy and will continue to be. You will need to have regular pap tests and he will have to be watchful of any signs of warts or changes to his penis.

As to having kids - unless the HPV turns cancerous or otherwise endangers your reproductive organs, you should be able to go on and have a bunch of kids - if that's your wish!

I know you're in a tricky situation but just be honest with him and see how it goes. No-one ever enjoys these uncomfortable situations but many of us will have them in our lives.

Will you let us know how things go?

We wish you the best,

September 2, 2010 - 11:55am
(reply to Susan Cody)

The anonymous reply was frm me, I 4got 2 log in!

September 2, 2010 - 8:12pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

Thank u so much 4 the info!!! No I've only been with 1 man so far!!! This is the thing, I met him last year jus b4 I found out I had HPV! So when I did find out I told him a whole bunch of lies, like I got back wit my ex n that we couldn't b friends!! I ddnt know how 2 tell him then n plus we had met only 2 months b4! Some how we always run into each other, n now we decided 2 stay n touch n hang out. He says he want 2 b n a relationship n I do but I'm so affraid of being exposed 2 other things!!! I dnt know how 2 tell him bcuz I dnt want 2 b thght of the wrong way!!! I've had treatment, n 2 other check ups!! So far so good! It has gotten better! My fear of never having children is that, I really don't know how 2 share this info n still feel that everything is ok! I jus wanted 2 know 4 whn I'm ready! Although its common, I still dnt feel ok wit the situation!! Thankx again!!

September 2, 2010 - 8:02pm
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