Facebook Pixel
EmpowHER Guest

How is your partner supposed to react when you tell them you have an STD

By Anonymous January 13, 2010 - 10:53pm
Rate This

I was recently diagnosed with low-risk HPV, genital warts. It was a small lump that I noticed a couple months ago but didn't present any problems so I waited a while to see someone about it.

I told my boyfriend of nine months and he isn't taking it very well. I'm pretty sure that he is not the person who gave me this.

He says he's not sure what to do and that he is having a hard time dealing with it, it seems like he's freaked out of his mind, actually. He says he needs to go see a doctor and learn about the virus from a professional source since apparently everything I know about it isn't valid because I got it off the internet. He is questioning whether or not he wants to be with me.

I'm not sure how to deal with his reaction. I certainly understand why he is freaked out, but at the same time it is so unfair. I am still the same person and a benign skin growth has suddenly made me completely undesirable.

I feel like the fact that he is questioning this so much, or being so freaked out, stems from him questioning the relationship at a deeper level. Like, maybe he doesn't really love me, I thought that when I told him he wouldn't think twice about wanting to be with me because he would know with all his heart that he loved me. I feel like a walking wart.

Add a Comment1 Comments

Dear Anon,

I am sorry that you and your boyfriend have hit a rocky road in your relationship. While I definitely understand how your feelings are hurt, try to understand his perspective. An STD is no joke and he could've easily walked away from you and never even given you a reason why. Not understanding the disease and ways to prevent it when your partner has it can be a scary thought. Don't doubt that he loves you, I am sure he deeply cares about you-- otherwise, he wouldn't be here anymore. Going to the doctor and hearing information straight from the horse's mouth is not a bad idea. He should definitely get checked and his doctor may ease his mind about certain things that you may not be able to. Give him your support and he will then give you his but until he's been to a doctor I don't think anything will calm his nerves on the topic.

Best of luck to you and your boyfriend.

January 14, 2010 - 6:36am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Get Email Updates

Sexually Transmitted Diseases Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!