March 22, 2015 - 4:54pm
Any time I have tried to look for support for the caregivers/spouses of chronically ill spouses I get "how to care for the ill". I have been married to my husband for 10 years and I have to say it has been hell. Financially we have been ruined, our children have heard, "Sorry, we can't today because daddy isn't feeling well" more than I care to mention. Not to mention EVERY bit of the responsibilities of married life have been put on me now. I am mentally and physically exhausted. I work two to three jobs, one full time the others part time, just so I am able to do for our children. I come home to a filthy house, because he is too sick to help and after working 70 hours a week I just can't keep up. I constantly have to hear how terrible he feels, whether it be from him or his family. It's come to the point where I just wonder how much more I can take. I didn't get married so when it gets hard I can just leave. I don't want a divorce but I am not happy at all. I cry myself to sleep more than one night a week. It's as if I am in a bad dream I'll never wake from. I need help. I have no family close by. If I hear the words, "I am hurting" anymore I think I'll scream...I know this sounds like the most selfish rant ever. But where is the TRUE help and advice?