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Dealing with ISOLATION

By November 21, 2010 - 12:42pm

I have had CFS for 33 years and have learned to cope with a lot of my symptoms along the way. The hardest part is the BIG setbacks that put me back into bed for weeks or months at a time, and ISOLATE ME me in the process. This is something I am going through right now, due to a tooth abscess, that I didn't know I had for the past 3 months.
How to cope with the isolation--when you are too weak and exhausted to really connect with others?--is my biggest challenge. I enjoy my solitude and my time alone, but when that is ALL I have, I begin to sink into despair. It's rally painful and depressing.

Any thoughts on this? thanks.

By April 8, 2011 - 3:33am

mmmm, Dreambirdie is it possible for me to answer your comment via email as I would like to explain to you what happened during those things that happened there which you have mentioned and then it is still your choice to accept or reject it if you are interested. I however do not want to go into long reasonings about those things, but I also know the power in truth, because truth sets you free and for so long we were blinded by lies. My email adress is the following: alitabylsma@gmail.com.

In the mean time however, I am a lot bettter and functioning very well. I have found a herb from America which I am drinking as a tea in the morning and afternoon.

I like the idea of reading or looking at things that will make you laugh, because laughter sets chemicals free that has a healing result. And did you know tears too. It sets a chemical free that also has the effect of feeling better physically and emotionally. Now please do no start crying to get better, but if you want to cry do not hold it in. I have seen on TV that there is now groups in Europe who have special laughter sessions and it was quite hilarious to look at.

MMM and I like the idea of talking with friends like you on the internet, just over everyday things, and as we are doing now getting to know each other better, even to have space for each other's differences. Time flies then.

Now, I need to finish things up here at work and look forward to your input on mine.

Now if I may end it like who I am, it will be sincerely: that God be with you all, and that healing will come into your bodies and that there will come a time when ywe all would look back to this time of small beginnings of big and true friendships over continents.

All my love, Alita

April 8, 2011 - 3:33am
By HERWriter Guide April 7, 2011 - 8:41am

KLM (I want to hop on a plane when I type your initials!)

Thanks for sharing some of your daily trials and tribulations as well as offering support to other readers. It's good to see you have been able to pinpoint what helps you and what isolates you. Like you, my life is full of people and things and kids and work and on and on so I really value any kind of time alone. But as you said, having the condition you do, you must be careful not to be too alone. I'm glad you have your family and friends to support you.

April 7, 2011 - 8:41am
By April 2, 2011 - 3:17pm

Hi Dreambirdie. I can totally relate to your feeling of isolation. I have always been an introvert and so having some quiet time has always been important--since I was a teacher and had a very active life in every way, I never seemed to have enough alone time. Now I am alone most of the time. I am fortunate to have family around and friends who would come and visit, but I find that talking, interacting, and responding to sound is exhausting, which leads to needing more quiet time, which leads to more isolation, which leads to feeling lonely which leads to struggling to hang on to hope. Some things that have helped me are getting outside, even if it is just to sit in my yard, writing in my journal, and reading funny books. Anything that can make me laugh is wonderful--my children are good for that--and then I try to really relish those moments and hang on to those memories in the bad times--which are many. I struggle with having compassion for myself, but I think it is important to keep trying to do so--this is a very hard place to be for all who deal with this terrible illness and we need to remind ourselves of that and give ourselves credit for the courage it takes to live every day and keep hoping we will feel better some day. My heart goes out to you.

April 2, 2011 - 3:17pm
By March 20, 2011 - 10:36pm

I too have found my strength thru spiritual growth Alita!

March 20, 2011 - 10:36pm
By HERWriter Guide January 20, 2011 - 11:59am

Hi Dreambirdie

We haven't heard from you in a while and I agree that people not involved in religions often have a hard time getting moral support because we live in a conservative Christian country (if you are in America, that is) and the advice to "pray" is not one that always makes sense to all people.

How are you doing? Have you found some support near you? Can I help you find a support group in your area?
I hope to hear back from you!

January 20, 2011 - 11:59am
By November 24, 2010 - 1:19pm

Hi Alita--
In all honesty I'm not a fan of Christianity, due to it's long history of violence against native peoples, women, and all those who disagree with Church dogma... which is often referred to as "The Word..." and which IMO is nothing more than repetitious phrases from an old book written, and then re-written several hundreds of times, by men thousands of years ago, who had some rather intense control issues, and a very deep seated hatred of women.

The witch burnings that took place in Europe during the late Middle Ages and Renaissance are considered by some to be the "women's holocaust." The high estimate is that up to 9 million women were imprisoned, tortured, and then murdered (by the Church) during these "burning times," and that six generations of children watched their mothers burn at the stake. Many of these women were midwives, native healers, single women who lived alone, or women who simply had the misfortune of being accused of witchcraft by a neighbor with a grudge against them. It is the Christian Church that was solely responsible for these hideous acts of torture and cruelty, as it was also responsible for the Crusades, the Inquisition, the genocide perpetrated by Christian missionaries/conquerors that eventually invaded every continent of the globe, the repression (under threat of DEATH) of ANY KIND of independent thought, and more recently the rape and molestation of thousands of innocent children.

As for the "savior" that the Christian Church created... he seems to me to be at least a derivative, if not a direct rip-off, of other older pre-Christian deities who preceded him. The theme of the virgin birth, and of the god who dies and then resurrects, is common to many world mythologies. Attis, Adonis, Dionysius and Osiris are just a few examples of gods who fit that description. The Christ, who came much later, is merely another. Yes, it is a powerful symbol of transformation, which I appreciate, but which I would personally not take literally.

So, as you can see by now, finding peace in isolation, through "the savior" of the Christian belief system, would not be my first choice. ;-) I prefer to talk to the stars or the sky or the ocean. If they could write a book that would be their "Word," then that would be MY book.

Thanks anyway ~~DB

November 24, 2010 - 1:19pm
By November 24, 2010 - 2:12am

Hi, Dreambirdie, my heart is going out to all the sufferers. It depend on what you are capable still to do. Can you still concentrate? Tell me more about your symptoms. What helped me is to concentrate on my Saviour and that which He promises in the Word, but even that is a contention, because we as humans tend to focus on the what we physical see, hear, feel and taste with our 5 senses. Then He is my companion. So in my case my faith and God's presence is lifting me up. Without His presence I would not make it through life at all.

What the pshyciatrist one taught me is that when you start to do things even if you do not feel up to it your emotions start to follow. But I believe that when you are as ill as you are there is not energy to do anything first, then the war must be in your head not to become depressed or go into despair. And that war I fight with the Word.


November 24, 2010 - 2:12am

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