Facebook Pixel

Help! Relationship Problems Join this Group

boyfriend wont have sex any more either!

By January 12, 2012 - 8:04pm

So I have been with my bf for 5 years now we have a almost 3 years old daughter and I'm about to have a son in 5 weeks. Before I got pregnant we split up for about 6 months and right when we decided to get back together all he did was talk about wanting another child. We were so happy I felt like things changed and we could be happy again. But once got pregnant it was just a huge downfall. It was like he moved. Back in with me and he couldn't get enough of me he didn't even care to get himself off all he wanted was to please me and made sure I was happy always held my hand talked to me like I meant the world to him he appreciated everythingvi did for him. Now that I'm pregnant it has been sheer hell and torture I have never felt more alone and hurt. We cant even go down the road to the store to get milk with out fighting to the point of me balling. Its out of control! We never have sex anymore its always once in a blue moon. I try everything to get him in the mood but he knows I'm going to ask or do something so before I can try I'm already being rejected. Weather its he pretends to fall asleep or he will randomly say my stomach hurts or his back hurts or jus start complaining when we start to go to bed. I will stay up for hours crying and he knows it but he wont even do anything. Then I cry more. And I also found out he will masterbate I tried talking to him about it it hurts so bad I just cried and cried and he said he doesn't do that but I found it on his boxers or shirts in the bathroom or when its like 3 in the morning or later I will wake up to lee and he will be in the bathroom with the door locked we never lock the bathroom door ever! Plus I found some covers to some Dvd porn that we got together a long time ago taken out of the case and hidden in the bathroom. Needless to say he is doing it and lien about it. I didn't want to be mean about it to him or anything cuz then I didn't want him doing it just to spite me. But even this morning I caught him it was like 830 and he slept on the couch and me and my daughter were in the bed the couch is like 3 ft away. I woke up to lee and he had his legs up and the blanket covering his body his eyes were closed so he didn't hear me right away and when he did he changed complete positions and pretended to still be asleep we normally don't get up until about ten so I lay back down and my friend started texting me so shortlly later he gets up and goes to the bathroom and the spare bed room and lays back down I didn't say anything until a little later today cuz I was jus so upset and we were fighting all day. I been crying pretty much the whole day now and he has no reaction and jus denies everything. He tells me he is attracted to me even still that I'm pregnant. But I jus don't think its true cuz I shouldn't be so hurtvover him masterbating if I was pleased right? I mean its not even about the sex its jus he wont do anything with me intimate nothing at all he doesn't pay attention to me don't hold hands kiss nothing is it normal is it because I'm pregnant? Help me please

By January 21, 2012 - 5:13am

I dont want to sound nasty but it sounds to me as though hes only staying with you because hes the father to your kids. Eithier that or it could be he doesnt want to have sex with you because your pregnant. Most men dont feel like having sex when their partners are expecting so if this is the case then try not to worry to much. About the masterbating issue, if it hurts you that much and you have confronted him about it then i dont know why he keeps doing it if it hurts you or he should at least do it when your not in the house or are around, you need to sit down and talk to him, tell him whats bothering you, raise any issues and ask him where you stand in this relationship as it seems to me as though hes only caring and loving towards you if he wants something.

January 21, 2012 - 5:13am
By January 14, 2012 - 6:21pm

Hi LostandConfused87,

I posted a response on your original "Ask". I'm not sure if you read it but here is the link http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/my-boyfriend-babys-father-will-not-be-intamte-me-anymore

Please try to remain positive and look forward to the little one that you are bringing into this world.

All the best to you,


January 14, 2012 - 6:21pm
By January 12, 2012 - 8:10pm

Also now that I know he masterbates and hides it I cant sleep cuz I try to pretend tobe asleep just so I can try to catch him. I don't ever want to leave him home alone cuz I'm worried he might do it and I will check his clothes everyday and tissues in the garbage just everything or look at the Internet history to see if he has been looking at porn and just its like eating me up I don't know what to do its driving me crazy and now I feel like we fight too much he doesn't want meanymore and I get so upset then we fight about it and he gets deffensive I didn't want that to happen cuz I want it to be open I don't want him to hide it I wouldn't care if he did but he does it more then me and its affecting our relationship. What else can I do

January 12, 2012 - 8:10pm

Group Leader


Relationship Issues/ Problems




This Group is Open to all EmpowHER.com members