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Less Sex With Husband

By September 23, 2011 - 8:18pm

I am very sad when my husband refuses to touch me. He says he doesn't mean to hurt my feelings etc. I hide my feelings very well and cry in the bathroom in the middle of the night while our children sleep. He doesn't actually touch me, kiss me or anything anymore. When he does want to have sex, its usually in the middle of the night while I am half dazed sleeping and lasts not very long or not even enjoyable. Do any of you have almost sexless marriages? Or just a sexless relationship? After having my babies, I thought it would be different - he didn't touch me one time for each pregnancy and I was pregnant a month after having my son with my daughter. Now, he's on a roll and not touching me while I'm not pregnant. I sit here and wonder - unlike being too skinny - I believe I may be too big for him after having the kiddos. I used to be 125-130lbs now, I'm 146lbs. He makes me feel so terrible about myself..how do you cope?

By HERWriter Guide October 9, 2011 - 5:57pm

Hi WifeyAndMommy

Thanks for your post and I'm sorry you're being treated this way.

I also had children back to back (three kids, in 2004, 2005 and 2006) and it's hard to get your body back in shape. These things take time! But your weight gain is a mere 15 pounds or so - nothing to worry about and certainly not enough to change a husband's view of his wife. And even if he didn't like it, he'd be foolish and very unkind to say such a thing to a woman who gave birth to his children.

Has he specifically said anything to you about your weight? Or are YOU being too hard on yourself?

A sexless marriage -with the couple so young - is not ok if one of the couples is against it and you should not have to cry and feel rejected like this.

Your weight is not the issue, WifeyAndMommy. Your husband has something going on that he is not talking to you about and he does owe you an explanation. No women should have to beg for sex or intimacy. It's humiliating and beneath her.

Please talk to him about this - he is not being honest with you.

Please let us know how it goes!

October 9, 2011 - 5:57pm

Group Leader

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I am having a hard time because my boyfriend and I have not been intimate in a month or so. It kind of dwindled down after I opened up and told him I was and sometimes still battle with the fact I am bulimic. He has been very supportive (will take or go to meetings with me, etc), but says this is why our sex life has diminished. I am one of those "fixers" where I want to talk things out and figure them out, and it seems to put more stress on everything. I guess I am just looking to see if anyone out there has experienced this before and what exactly I should do. When I get sad or stressed out my disease tends to resurface. I truly love this man and see him as part of my future....the fact I told him my "skeletons in the closet" reminds me of this, but sometimes, I wish I hadn't.


Chicago, IL


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