August 11, 2011 - 9:27am
At this point in my life I don't really care what I weight (since putting on 30 pounds over ONE month at age 12 when I was first diagnosed, it has been a battle) but if I could just feel good again and stay that way! Every time I try a different medication, or try a different dose I start feeling great and as stupid as it sounds I feel strong again. Like I can actually feel every single muscle in my body getting the oxygen it needs, and working properly! And then right when I start to get excited for all the things I am going to do with this new found "normalcy", I start to crash again and my whole body goes back to feeling like I am pulling a horse and cart everywhere I go. Heck, sometimes just hanging up laundry gets too tiring, and it really peeves me off because I just did it the day before and had no problems at all, so what is so different today? Every day it is a gamble on how I am going to feel, and I am so sick of it.
I can tell you that it has made a huge difference for me trying different medications, even though I am still trying to get my adjustment right. No aches, and I can't really explain how I felt "stronger" but I really felt like I could take on the world, and nothing could have stopped me! There was a spring in my step again, and I could have just danced all day long enjoying the graceful moves of all of my body flowing like a river. It was so wonderful, it just didn't last as long I would have like :(
One of these days soon I will find my right dosage (and throw out the TSH, since I can feel like crap when it is 8, 36 or even 2) and when I do that is when my hypothyroidism has been treated, not when my TSH is to the liking of some doctor. I know my body, and when I feel like I did for that one week of pure bliss, I will consider myself euthroid, but until then I battle on. And I hope you do too!