December 2, 2013 - 9:41pm
The above "list" is not really a list. It's a sequence. I lost my virginity to a rapist I met at a Halloween party and hated, in 1977. I was totally dressed NOT to attract a man, and I instantly disliked this dude at the party. He raped me after the party, and I felt guilty for going to the party. I thought I was "ruined" and had nothing to "protect"... and started just NOT saying no to sex. I was treated, twice, for venereal warts, caused by the HPV virus. On Halloween of 1979, I escaped from the escaped convict who had taken over my life and tortured me for three months. No more warts and I was lucky not to have caught any other STDs. A year later I married and was militantly monogamous for 28 years. But I divorced, then, and soon was diagnosed with anal cancer, which is said to be caused by HPV. I now have been told I definitely have HPV . I ALSO have abnormal cells in my cervix. I await biopsy results, hoping it isn't cervical cancer. I've been battling cancer for years and do not wish another involved, painful, exhausting fight. But i also have been thinking a lot about that rape in 1977... and wondering... was that guy the one who gave me the HPV that may kill me, or was it one of the other 55 guys... I will never know. But I'm certainly willing to blame him. It beats admitting that my promiscuous college days sowed the "seeds" I am now reaping. That's just cruel and unjust...