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my parter has not been affectinate twards me in a year.

By October 15, 2010 - 7:15pm

i dont know what to do.
Everything in our relationship is great other than the fact that we dont have sex, kiss or cuddle. Im lucky if i even get a hug, but i have to force him to hug me and when i do get a hug he just stands there and looks at the celing & doesnt even put his arms around me. I am 19 my fiance is 30 we have been together for almost 4 years and we just had a babyboy almost 4 months ago. I did not recieve any stretchmarks or weight gain from my pregnancy. I weigh 114 pounds. I really dont understand. I have tried to talk to him about it but he just kinda giggles and thinks im joking around and says " I dont want to talk about it." last night i tried to bring it up and it did not go as i had hoped it would. He always makes up exuses for us to not have sex or cuddle. he says that he wants to wait. I have asked him how he thought our relationship was and he says "good". I asked him if he did not find me attractive anymore and he said "no it is not that". I dont understand this at all because before october 10,2009 we had the best sex ever. He always wanted to have sex. he would always ask me if i wanted to and now he wants to wait! wait for what??? he wont tell me anything and i dont know why. this has been going on for a little over a year now and i am deeply concerned because this is unhealthy and not like him at all. my feelings are beeing crushed because there is no lust in our relationship. he does not seem depressed about anyting. I dont think he is cheating he goes to work and comes strieght home. someone please give me some advice. it seems as if i have tried everything and nothing so far has worked.

By October 20, 2010 - 11:16pm

Thanks, I will write you and let you know how dinner goes. It wont be until next weekend. but i hope all goes well :)

October 20, 2010 - 11:16pm
By HERWriter Guide October 20, 2010 - 11:57am

You're welcome and I'm glad you talked to him - it's at least a positive start. Have a great dinner out!

October 20, 2010 - 11:57am
By October 19, 2010 - 6:18pm

i was 17 when we got together and he was 28, but at the time i did not know that he was 28. i thought he was 23 because that is what my freind had told me. but that is all in the passed now. i have been trying to talk to him for a long time. he did not want to open up to me and tell my why we were not having sex. I did not give up. i kept trying and tring because we have a son now and i cannot bring myself to leave him because i love him so much and i just wanted things to work out. well two nights ago i stood up to him and said "We need to talk! I mean serious talk! No joking around! Stop avoiding it! I want to know why things are the way they are and what we can do to fix it." I think that caught his attention a little bit. I wanted him to know that i was serious. well I asked him "How do you think our relationship is going?" he replied "good". I asked him "what do you think is good in our relationship?" and he replied "everything". I then asked "Why do we not have sex?" and he replied "Im sorry. I know i need to work on that." I told him "You are not affectionate twards me at all and it hurts my feelings. I barely remember what it is like to kiss you." The next morning I came downstairs and he looked at me in a way that grabbed my heart and told me " babe i want to take you out for dinner to this nice restraunt in anarbor michigan." my heart dropped and i almost started crying. I couldnt believe what i was hearing. I have waited so long for this and now it is actually happening and i feel so blessed. I kept thinking ,wow anarbor michigan is like a few hours away from where we live. well thank you for responding to my post. If anything happens i will be sure to come back to this website. it has helped out alot.

October 19, 2010 - 6:18pm
By HERWriter Guide October 19, 2010 - 7:56am

Hi is_he_cheating

Thanks for your post!

I know you have been helped out with your questions on the main board and I hoped this has helped to guide you in the right direction.

When all is well in a relationship except for sex, then it ends up being a huge problem. To be honest, I'd worry about a 26 year old man who was dating a 15 year old girl but that's not the issue right now.

Men don't generally cheat because their partner has gained some weight or got a few stretch marks in pregnancy. If you look at the women men cheat with, they are not necessarily more attractive/thinner etc than their partner.

If your partner insists that nothing is wrong then clearly he's not being truthful because being in a sexless relationship is not ok when both are not happy (it's fine if it works for both!).

If we won't talk about it or denies anything is wrong, then you won't get pass this.

Have you literally asked him "why are we not having sex anymore?" - not dancing around things, not hinting? Just that question, straight out?
If so, what has he said? If not, why not?

October 19, 2010 - 7:56am

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