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women wives, mothers, $$winner & c-giver 2 chronic ill spouse Join this Group

everything!.... 'his' anger, depression, verbal attacks...(taking it out on me), ...

By November 17, 2010 - 4:00am

omg - where do i begin? and how do i move forward...? my husband of nearly 15 years has recently taken to attacking me verbally... constantly pointing out what I don't do... or am late getting upstairs to help him, am unreliable.... etc etc.. and in front of our kids. I cant take it anymore and I dont know what to do. He is chronically ill and disabled.... in a wheelchair from MS. He is still able to do a lot and still work, but somehow has not time for me, for couple things and clearly can't cope with responsibility if is relates to me, the house, our kids, etc.... only has time and abilities for his hobbies. I have likely created a monster over the years by doing too much and by protecting, defending him, etc.... Now I need to breathe... and I can't. I want out. But I dont think I can leave him. How do I cope?

By HERWriter Guide July 21, 2011 - 6:43pm

Hi spirit_seeker73

Thank you so much for sharing your story and please know that you are not alone. Have you read our very active thread on this topic? You can find it here and please let me know what you think: http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/living-and-possibly-leaving-sick-spouse-heartfelt-story-reader-looking-advice?page=2

I hope to hear back from you,

July 21, 2011 - 6:43pm
By July 15, 2011 - 9:14am

timeforme wow that is my life, except he doesn't work. we have been married 35 years. He has had ms since 2003. it has been a hard year, and i think (at least right now) i have made the decision to place him somewhere. Its not that i don't love him. i do, but i just don't feel that i can do it any more. we have 1 daughter that is 19. even with the help coming in while i'm at work. i'm just tired. i know i am wimping out on him. i also have had congestive heart failure since 2007, i'm on prescription meds and doing pretty good. but the stress has been awful. i am sorry other people are going through this too. but i'm glad i found this site to know there are others in the same situation.

July 15, 2011 - 9:14am
By HERWriter Guide March 5, 2011 - 12:28pm

Hi Ladies

I know it has been a while. How are you both?

Have you both read the thread for women considering leaving a sick spouse? Of course, that's not what we're encouraging anyone to do but all these women are in the same situation as you. I'm not sure if reading it brought you to this Group or if no-one has seen it at all. I'll post the link, just in case: http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/living-and-possibly-leaving-sick-spouse-heartfelt-story-reader-looking-advice

I'd love you both to update us as to how you are doing!

March 5, 2011 - 12:28pm
By December 28, 2010 - 5:46pm

I sympathize with you cause I married to bipola disorder,ocd, and mood swings. I have create my own life and when he's home I/we rarely communicate, its aweful and he thinks all is find. Just create a plan and pray, pray and move.

December 28, 2010 - 5:46pm

Group Leader

Related Topics


Superwomen... we all are. But now lets add the 24-7 responsibility of caring for your chronically ill husband/spouse... whether it be depression, ALS, MS, diabetes, heart condition, cancer... or...? It takes its toll. Even when they are appreciative, but what about when they are not.. when the anger is directed at you. The depression of theirs add to the challenges. Many of us don't want to leave...but how do we cope? how do we find time for ourselves without making the situation even worse?


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