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Annette Leal Mattern
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Five Things Cancer Taught Me

I’ve lived with cancer a long time, so long that sometimes it’s hard to remember life before it. But hopefully, I’ve learned something along the way. To me, cancer is like that old adage that says, “Time is the cruelest teacher; first she gives the test, then teaches the lesson.”

Here are just five of mine:

1. I am not in control of everything. This may have been the hardest thing for me to learn. A true control freak, I believed that – had been taught that – one could achieve anything with sufficient work. Having cancer, losing loved ones to cancer, was a profound lesson about life. Sometimes, things just happen over which we have no control. It is those experiences that caused me to find ways to influence the outcome without controlling the process.

2. Pain and suffering are not one. We speak of pain and suffering as a singular experience, inextricably tied as are two sides of a really bad coin. I learned that, while the pain may be mandatory, suffering is an emotional response to the situation. Case in point: Do mothers “suffer” through childbirth? Or extreme athletes “suffer” in their sport when they push past the pain. Ah ha! Life got better when I understood that I was in charge of my response to pain.

We value and respect the experiences of all of our HerWriters, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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