Sponsored by: Fiera®
Alright you lovey-dovey readers out there. You had your holiday; we did the Valentine’s Day festivities and wore pink and bought chocolate and sent gushy notes to the people we care about (or maybe spent the weekend enjoying a bottle of cheap wine and our sweatpants).
Now the rest of the year is here. And guess what – your relationship status is more than likely in the same place that it was before February 14th! If you are in a relationship with another person – romantic or otherwise – it is likely to have some ups and downs. We could all use some tips for ways to refresh and reconnect, especially when we don’t have the crutch of a cute card or candy to fall back on.
Real intimacy with others (not the surface-level kind manufactured by Hallmark or imaginary kind exported by Hollywood) requires emotional work, self-reflection and plenty of give and take.
Here are a few starter tips to help refresh your relationship:
1. Spend some time reminding yourself why this person is in your life and what you are getting out of the relationship.
I am currently in a mutually open relationship, which allows me to consistently evaluate and appreciate reasons why I continue to stay with my partner. It helps me to ask what it is about this person that I enjoy – even when there are things that are less-than-wonderful. I’ve found this to be a valuable exercise that results in some incredible conversations and leaves us both feeling more positive, comfortable, heard and connected. It can help us to remember all the incredible, unique, hilarious, endearing, ridiculous, wonderful things about our partners, rather than dwelling only on negative features.
2. Introduce something new and exciting into your relationship.
It’s easy for relationships to become routine as partners get stuck in cruise control of day-to-day life. When was the last time you tried something new in your relationship? There’s a new sexual wellness product on the market that I think is a great start to introduce something new in your relationship. Fiera®, which is designed for “before-play,” can help get your mind and body in the mood. While intended to be used by women, Fiera was created with couples in mind to help improve overall intimacy.
Sound like something you’d be interested to try? EmpowHER is offering an exclusive deal to its readers - $25 off Fiera! Plus, by signing up you’ll also receive relationship tips that emphasize the LITTLE things that spark those loving feelings between partners.
3. Take some time apart from each other.
We’ve all heard the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and I am a firm believer that when it comes to getting back in touch with a partner or getting to know them in new ways, distance is a powerful aphrodisiac. Sometimes a little bit of time and space apart can help both of you to remember exactly what you love (and therefore miss) about each other. Or, if you and your partner are going through a rough patch, a little buffer time may help you to consider priorities, gain perspective, and determine what sorts of things are truly important to you and worth fighting for.
4. Put away your phones, turn off the TVs and unplug the computers.
Even if this isn’t on our public health radar yet, our society’s collective addiction to screen-time UNDENIABLY influences and affects our relationships with other humans in our lives. Our attention span, patience and listening skills are markedly diminished. We are so used to relying on technology to fill space, to provide entertainment, to answer questions, to show us where to go, to tell us what/what not to eat, to connect us to people who are far away, etc.
It’s easy to use this magical transportation device as a substitute for meaningful personal contact, so take some time to detox from technology. Try going for a walk with your partner outside or going out to dinner sans phones. Turn off the TV (or Netflix/Hulu/whatever) for an entire week. Stay off of social media. You may find that your conversations with the people around you deepen, that you relearn things about each other you had forgotten or that you discover new, fun ways to fill your time.
These are just a few basic tips to get you started. Please post below about how they work for you and your loved ones! And definitely make sure you supplement this preliminary list with the helpful suggestions from Fiera for even more ideas to enhance your romance.Read more in Let's Talk About Sex