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How Did Your Drug Use Escalate?

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Darkina shares why she first started taking drugs and how a few pills lead to smoking crack.

Darkina:
It went wrong because again, I am taking care of my family. My family is everything to me. I am willing to lose everything behind my family. I don’t have a clue about addiction. I lost my mother to addiction. She was an alcoholic, never understood that, thought drinking was just, you know, a partying thing. I was just a drinker, you know at a party, didn’t think much about it and it pretty much just you know, I started liking the feeling of not dealing with reality, shutting things out.

And one high led to another high and since everything was about my family, everything was about my family, everything was about my family I said, “Okay, but who care about me?” I all alone today, I didn’t care about myself. How do you care so much about some other people where you don’t care about yourself? It’s not possible. You are going to lose. You are just going to lose because you are going to get tired. You are going to get beaten up. You have to care about yourself today and that’s what’s going on.

I care about me. I love me so much today. The next person’s problem is just… don’t mean to sound personal but, you know, it’s just not non of my… you know, I would take on your problem. If you could not pay your electric bill, “Oh call Darkina. She’ll pay it for you. You can’t pay your rent? Call her. She will pay it for you.” That’s how it was with my family. So, today it’s just not like that.

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