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about my virginity

By Anonymous June 19, 2011 - 8:33pm
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im very shameful to ask this..im doing masturbation since my childhood..i did it without knowing the purpose bcz of my neighbrs..now my clit is not looking well..i feel guilty wenever i c tat..it is expanded and my inner lips r bigger than my outer lips..plz tell me am i a virgin? can i marry anyone?am i fit for childbirth?plz help..

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Hi Anon,

Thank you for your question, you have nothing to be ashamed about here on EmpowHer. The way your vagina looks, despite many believing that it is based on sex/masturbation, varies from person to person. Anatomically every woman has the same parts (vulva, clitoris, etc) but they don't all look the same.

I don't know if you are a virgin or not because I don't know if you have masturbated only by playing with your clitoris or if you have gone as far as masturbating with dildos. And in many cultures, the definition of virginity is quite debatable.
I do get the sense that you come from a culture where virginity is extremely important for marriage-- and again, I'm not sure what your cultural/religious views are on masturbation.

Being "fit" for childbirth has nothing to do with the way your vagina looks-- that has more to do with your overall health, uterus positioning, fertility, and pelvic shape and size.

I hope my answer helped a bit and that you get other responses here as well :)

Best of luck,


June 20, 2011 - 7:13am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)

really i thank u dude...i never used any dildos r toys..am i a virgin?since i masturbated excessively,after marriage can i get the pleasure..am i fit for marriage?plz reply

June 21, 2011 - 4:24am
(reply to Anonymous)

A virgin is defined as someone who has never had sexual intercourse, therefor you are a virgin.
Of course you can get pleasure after marriage-- it's an entirely different experience from masturbating on your own. Masturbation is a very normal behavior as long as it does not take over your life.

June 21, 2011 - 6:45am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)

mam..u helped me a lot by ur answers..still i have many doubts..plz help me..my family is looking for my life partner..u know i had masturbation since i was 6..now my clit hood is very small..my inner lips are loking as teared..i cant tell this to my mom..i am very shameful..this affects my marriage r sexual life??sorry to be so graphic(something white colored..is came out from my clit hood..it smelled very bad)plz rply mam..

July 19, 2011 - 4:32am
(reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon,

If you have never been penetrated by anyone or anything, then whoever your future husband is will not know that you have masturbated regardless of how your labia look. It will not affect your married life. However, if you are having discharge that is foul smelling you need to visit your doctor because you may have a vaginal infection that is completely unrelated to sex or masturbation so don't be afraid to visit your doctor.

Best Wishes,


July 19, 2011 - 8:04am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)

thanks mam..but that discharge is not from that vaginal hole..its from my clit hood..i cannot approach a doctor without my mom..now only i m graduated and i will get a job after three months only..so then only i can approach a gyne..thanks for ur replies mam..kindly rply for that also..

July 20, 2011 - 3:07am
(reply to Anonymous)

Please see a gynecologist as soon as you can. If not now, as soon as possible. Any foul smelling discharge needs to be seen by a doctor, no matter where it is coming from. Why can't you tell your mom? The discharge can be an infection caused by perfumes, type of underwear, and even over cleaning the area-- it is not related to sex since you have yet to have sex.


July 20, 2011 - 6:33am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)

thanks for ur kind rply mam..plz help me to stop masturbation..how can i overcome this...till now im doing this...any girl did excessive (very excessive) masturbation is fit for marriage?can you tell me what is in the clit?if i rub my clit after two r three days some white coloured ..is coming from that..now my clit is very small..my hands n legs are paining..i cant do any heavy work..i feel nervous after i did this...my inner lips are seems like tored..tat lips can now open upto my clit hood...what can i do now?i cant approach a doctor now..plz help me out mam...

August 7, 2011 - 4:15am
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